The Inner Peace of Heidi

dang..WTH???

2010-05-28T15:22:00.002-06:00

Where did I go??
What happened to ME??
well....I have once again been neglectful..sigh..
Sometimes I do wear too many hats..
any way here we are on the eve of another Memorial Day Weekend.
My best friends husband Tim got home from a long deployment. There are many who are thrilled that he is home..me included.
Julianna is 16 months old today. walking, talking and she is a little pistol..so funny.
Owen is a space dude, he loves space, planets, asteroids, galaxies..all of it.
Donovan is officially a 5th grader.. he leaves in a few days to spend 6 weeks in Chicago..sigh, it never gets easier.
I have been sewing, I made a dress for my bf's daughter for her daddy's homecoming...
I sort of followed a pattern, but really just did my own thing.
I have nearly finished the process to open Heidi's Home Day Care..just waiting on a permit number.
Chris is working baseball.
uh.. that's it...I never did upload the pics from Vancouver..someday I will. I think that for now things have slowed down enough that I can blog some more.
if for some reason you are die hard about the inner peace of me, i invite you to peruse the archives for some good posts.

I survived

2010-03-12T13:48:00.003-07:00

and am still surviving. The transition, that is. from leaving my family and going on THE MOST INCREDIBLE VACATION, then returning.
Between my sister and I we took over 1500 photos. I should mention that about 1/16 of those were mine, ok maybe 1/8, but they are still being uploaded and backed up and edited, although, my sister has a real flair for photography, she needs very few edits if any in about 95% of her shots. Yeah, I know, I am jealous too. Anyway.
I am a dumb ass, sorry for the harsh language, but the other night, for whatever reason, I went ahead and cleared off my camera, not 1 split second before I remembered that I had yet to move all the trip pictures to the computer for backing up and storage.
THANK GOODNESS I am married to a forensic computer geek, we think he was able to recover them.. I will have to wait until Sunday to find out.
Once I have some good images to choose from, I will share.
IN the meantime, this is how my trip went.
Mon,fly to CO, Tues, fly to Seattle, visit the Space Needle and the EMP, (experience music project), then we stayed in Bellingham that night.
Next morning, early,we were off to catch a bus to Whistler to see the Ladies Giant slalom, Alpine Skiing, which had it's 2nd run of the day postponed due to poor visibility.Then we were off to drive to the ferry, and ride the ferry to the B&B in Roberts Creek where we were staying. Next morning, we spent the day on Grouse Mountain, back to Roberts Creek for the night, next morning we went to Vancouver to the Richmond Oval, for Speed Skating, and then we walked around the city, taking in all the sights, then off again to the Olympic Stadium to see the short track skating.
We left early Sat morning to ferry back to BC and drive to Seattle and fly back to Co, then Sunday I flew back into OK. WHEW!!
We both had such a great time, there are little stories and details I will fill in with pictures, like the breast pump incident, and Dari's shoes..so those must be told with the pictures.
So until then...

Vancouver, here I come..hopefully

2010-02-19T20:24:00.002-07:00

I will elaborate on the hopefully part later..
I am slated to fly to Denver, then to Washington, and drive on into Canada with my sister and partake in the wonder that is the 2010 Winter Olympics.
I am excited!!
I am nervous!!
I am worried!!
I am a lot of things
I am leaving my family for a week....Chris? he will be okay, Donovan I am sure will do fine.. and Owen will never remember...it will be like I went away for a few hours.. I HOPE
and Julianna.. well she is still nursing.. we both are.. and I really don't want her to wean yet, but have prepared myself for if she does.
I won't be in a position to store any milk I pump, so I will pump and dump while I am away, but I am trying to leave some here for her to 'remember me by" so that when I return, we can pick up where we left off..her pediatrician assures me that she will not forget.. but I am preparing for it just in case.
I am very excited though about going to Canada, and to THE OLYMPICS...wow..
I have no idea what to expect.. but I will be face booking it and tweeting it, in case anyone follows me there..and if not, well I will update when I get back. Now I have laundry and packing to do.
TA TA!!

Charlie

2010-02-08T14:08:00.004-07:00

So, a family was in Arkansas, and someone had left this dog by the side of the road.
They brought him home with them to OK.
They posted ads, and signs( via family in AR)
they waited for 10 days.
Then they posted him on Craigslist.

I saw the ad the day they put it up, I am frequently browsing various CL postings.
I emailed them and then spoke with them on the phone.
It sounded like the poor dog escaped a terrible fate.
I wanted Donovan to meet him.
Donovan needs a pal, he is going to be 10, and Dash is more my dog.
So we went to meet him.
Charlie, they call him.
CUTE
FUN
RAMBUNCTIOUS
and Donovan fell in love.

We agreed to have Charlie come visit us, since we had 2 other kids, a dad and a dog who needed to meet him.
He came over yesterday...
and now...he is ours.
Dash loves him,
Owen loves him,
Chris likes him, and loves to play with him.
And from what I can tell, Julianna loves him, but he sure does love to give her kisses.

Welcome to our family Charlie!!

I made a great cake, and I am suprised..

2010-02-01T07:44:00.006-07:00

So I pulled it off.. I thought the practice cake I made for my daughter was mediocre at best, but was terribly pleased with how the final cake turned out.
She loved it,
I stuck with pink, purple and white...made the sugar cookie "1" a bit smaller and thus lighter..and sifted the powdered sugar so my buttercream icing was not grainy.

I might try to offer to make similar cakes for friends...just for a gift, not for money, it's fun to bake. And did I mention how yummy the icing and cakes are??

did some sewing

2010-01-21T15:57:00.007-07:00

over the holidays...and never posted good pictures.
So what I made is a cape for Owen, from scratch, but I used a template for the cape shape.

He absolutely loves it, but doesn't really wear it, yet, he plays with it, but isn't into the wearing it.. I can't quite figure it out. I made it for him since he found a cape at the library which he hates taking off, it's attached to a shirt, so I thought for sure he would like one of his own. But I don't think he likes the way it ties.
What he loves most about it, is it is a Brobee cape with all his frineds from Yo Gabba Gabba on it. He LOVES Yo Gabba Gabba...which means I might be trying to make him a YoGabba Gabba cake in April for his 3rd birthday.

I made rag quilt letters for Julianna.
I ordered vintage fabrics off Etsy and used them for the letters, she likes to throw them around, but I do believe she will grow into them, since Owen loves them, too.
I even made a little bag to store them in, and I did not have a pattern for it, I just made it up.

And I made a child sized snuggie for Donovan.
I was going to make a funky snuggie, where the arms were one each, Chicago Bears and Denver Broncos, but figured my sister give him enough Bronco wear, and he gets a ton of Bears stuff from his dad and family, so I just made it all Sooners. He loves it and sleeps with it all the time.
When I can get around to it, I am going to sew the cuffs all the way around, and the collar, the little stay put stitches I put in came out, he is a bit rough with it.

Not a super seamstress, but I am making more letters for a 1st birthday we are going to, and a skirt for Julianna's for her 1st birthday.
Maybe I am not void of talent afterall.

the practice 1st Birthday cake

2010-01-17T12:03:00.005-07:00

So I spent most of Friday and yesterday, making sugar cookies, decorating them,

baking cakes,

icing them

and putting it all together

,

just so I know what I am going to be getting into next week before her party..
it came out better than I imagined, so next week, it should be pretty great.
I will post more photos then.
...

want to thank Amanda for the ideas for the cake in the first place.

I really have no words...

2010-01-14T12:58:00.002-07:00

Chris found this link while reading a blog last night.
While I have posted some questionable material in the past..
I really honestly have no words for this one...
not posting to offend, or shock.. I guess I am sharing because I can't believe it.
you will have to decide that on your own..
without further adieu;
a very brazen woman

Electric Company

2010-01-10T19:25:00.005-07:00

HEEEEYYYYY YOOOOUUUUU GGUUUYYYSSSSS!!!
Remember that?
Morgan Freeman? Rita Moreno? Bill Cosby?
The Plumber who came to fix the sink?
The Adventures of Letterman?
Giggle Goggles?
Jennifer of the Jungle?
The Six Dollar and Thirty Nine Cent man?
the Blue Beetle? I could go on and on..
I loved that show...
oh and and who could forget all those catchy tunes...
Silent "E", The "Ly" song.
Well recently, Chris came across this little "cover tune", and I had to share.
Coming from a house with 3 boys and one grown boy, Lego's are all over the place. We love the "Ly" song..so this was Awesome!!!
Thanks Babe for sharing.

Enjoy!!
p.s. if you link to the Lego "ly" song..check out the other songs done in "Lego"

I should add, that for those of you/us who have school aged kids, they have started running a current version.. not as hip and the 70's one, but still great for todays kiddos.

Our FAVORITE!!!!

2010-01-07T12:49:00.007-07:00

Right now, just about anything that Owen likes is declared "My FAVORITE"!!!
"Owen, would you like some Apple Juice? "Apple Juice?, MY FAVORITE!!"
"Owen, would you like to watch Yo Gabba Gabba? "Yo Dab Dab!!! MY FAVORITE!!!"
"Owen, time to get dressed, first, your underwear!! UNDERWEAR?? MY FAVORITE!!!"
You get the idea.
Anyway, for about 6 months, maybe more, this book was his favorite, he just could not tell us.. now that he can, I want to share it with you.
I think Emma Dodd is a very creative writer.. I got both of these books, this one and this one when Donovan was about Owen's age, and Donovan loved them as much.
I love how she uses "S" for all the sounds the colors make in Dog's Colorful Day

and the fact that Dog eats his "meal" in Dog's ABC..

I can honestly say that we read the Colorful day book more than the ABC's but both are nearly memorized in our house.. Chris and I can't skip a page or forget a word. Owen is right on top of it to correct us.
I love that by reading it, he can count to 10,

knows all of his colors and his entire alphabet..

I do suggest both or even one if you are trying to introduce letters, colors or numbers to your child.
Have fun reading!!

Making good time...

2010-01-06T14:26:00.002-07:00

Seems that so far my resolutions are going well.
I have switched to Truvia instead of sugar for my hot tea.
I have not had a drop of soda since before new years.
I figure if I spent $.86 a day on a big gulp that was roughly $6 a week, $24 a month, $310 a year... yay me.
I have not had fast food since the New Year either.
I have not seen a drastic change in my weight, but I have noticed I am sleeping better and I have more energy throughout the day.
This may not seem very significant, but I think over the long term, I will see some positive differences.

We are trying to night wean Julianna.. who by nature is a very determined and LOUD little girl when she is both un happy and happy.
Chris has taken to dealing with her through the night in the guest room, so that she doesn't wake Owen, since they share a room, and me since no matter what effort I take, she roots for the boob like nuts when I try to rock her back to sleep if she wakes up.
Last night she only woke twice. She is eating more table food throughout the day, and napping a bit better too.

Owen now sleeps in hig big boy bed, no more crib, and the binky is gone for good...
We finally got the Yo Gabba Gabba bedding we ordered on like Dec 17..took FOR EVER to get here, but he loves it.
Today at preschool, he didn't cry, ate all his lunch, napped AND took his nap without a pullup and stayed DRY.. these are all huge...making good time...on this trip, yes we are.

Donovan can kind of get in a funk when he gets back from visiting Dirk( his OGD, or Dad) and it seems he has finally come around from his Christmas trip out there.
We went to Cub Scouts last night, and they played this game. "Harbor Master"..the boys all spread out around the room, then the leader blindfolded one scout outside of the room, then brought him back in to be directed by the chosen Harbor Master...go straight, go left 2 steps, right one inch.. so they don't bump into anything and make it safely across the Harbor/back of the room.
Quite fun to watch and to hear how a young boy gives directions.
He had a really good night, then we headed over to Misty's house, one of my mommy friends, and took off her hands a computer desk she no longer needed so Donovan could have on in his room for doing homework. He was amazingly thankful and gracious.
Again, making good time.
Chris and I have been on the same page, (so to speak) for the longest time, and boy can I tell you how good that feels? We don't often quarrel or argue..but when we get along for long periods of time, like the same wave length kind of thinking,gotta love that!!!
So, on all fronts right now, in Casa de Mallow, all is well, and on the trip of life, we are indeed making good time.

breaking records

2009-12-31T10:22:00.002-07:00

This is my 3rd post in a week....if I can continue this trend, woot woot for me!!
Anyway, today is Dec 31 2009..at midnight, a new year and a new decade will begin.
I am really ready for the 00's to be over.
While there has been a lot of wonderful happenings, it has been a rough 10 years.
I have made a few resolutions...to lose weight..a big part of that is giving up all fast food, and soda.. I used to have a Dr.Pepper big gulp every day.. can't imagine the calories that packed on.
I want to get back to about 135...won't really set a time frame for it, but walking more, exercising and just being more active will make a huge difference.
I already said how I want to blog more, and I am going to read the bible everyday.
My in laws gave me an awesome bible.
Might make it easier for me to reconnect with my faith.
I am also going to try to floss everyday..I know, I know, that's a silly one. but I watched this movie once, Prelude to a Kiss.. with Meg Ryan ( excellent ) and Alec Baldwin, ( sub par) but this old man in it said if he had anything to do over, he would floss more.. kind of stuck with me.
So that's what I am doing to bring in the 20-teens...what are you doing?

In case I ever die before my prime..

2009-12-29T13:19:00.002-07:00

Chris can use my insurance money to get one of these "fembots"

Though it doesn't say if she is really 'fully' functional, if you know what I mean. Perhaps in the not so distant future, they will make a funny blonde haired blue eyed one who will roll her eyes at all of my husbands corny jokes.. oh Baby, you know I love you Chris!! There is no substitute for the real deal, right?

I really need to do this more

2009-12-28T11:06:00.004-07:00

I think about the blog a lot..about coming here to tell you what is going on..but then I face book.. and forget..
So here we are again, with an update..But I am making a goal for myself to post a minimum of 3 times a week..even if it's just a picture..
anyway.. so what's been up, hmm
we just got through Christmas..
I made presents for 3 of my 5 kids..I was not sure what if anything to make for my step kids, so I made them each a personalized tile...they seemed to like them.
They are moving to California with their mom in a few days.. we will only see them in the summer and once or twice over the year..I don't think I should talk much more about this. I love those kids, but think that they really got messed up..ok, shutting up now.
I made an OU "Snuggie" for Donovan. It was my plan to make it OU/Broncos/Bears, but just went with the OU.. he loves it. it's perfect for when he is playing XBOX.
For Owen, I hand crafted a Super Hero Cape featuring his favorite show Yo Gabba Gabba and his favorite character from..Brobee..This is who he was for Halloween, too.
He loves to carry it around. I think he likes to see the friends, rather than wear them, but the look on his face and his reaction. "it my favorite" was worth it.
It was Julianna's 1st Christmas. she caught on the the ripping of paper very quick, not so much the joy of what was inside, but, she was adorable.
She is crawling all over, but not ready for standing just yet.
I noticed just before Christmas that she is about the cut her 2 front teeth, but while we were at my in laws, I noticed that she is cutting all 4 of her top front teeth...this would explain he mood the past week, and lack of appetite.
Once they come in or break through, it will be much nicer for all of us.
I made her some Rag Quilt letters, thanks Jenny, www.eagerlittlemind.com and Jessica www.ohsohappytogether.blogspot.com/2009/07/rag-quilt-letters-tutorial.html
She isn't that into them yet, other than throwing them about, but she will, I can tell she likes them.
I made Chris a gift too...a book about the 10 things I love about him. He said, and I quote " the single most thoughtful gift he has ever received"..that's all I have to say about that.
I am posting a few shots. I did manage to take some pictures.. enjoy. I hope fingers crossed to be back 2ce this week.

There was a girl..

2009-10-30T17:28:00.002-06:00

with a little curl..
right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good, she was very good,
and when she was bad...
she was horrid..

I would never say Julianna is horrid, but she is showing signs of having the temperament associated with redheads.
Loving that she is getting curls tho.

I'm still here

2009-10-10T22:59:00.002-06:00

Bet you thought I died or something, huh?
Nope, just been busy...I still facebook, and tweet..
but I have a lot going on these days.
Donovan is in football,
Owen is talking like crazy and copying EVERYONE.. and every thing..
Julianna is a mere days from crawling, she rolls all over the house, and can scoot backwards, so as soon as she figures it out, I will not be sitting around much longer.
She also is sporting her first tooth:

I took up knitting, and have been engrossed in the Twilight series.
Chris is doing some side work as a football referee and the temperatures here just took on a chilly attitude.
I vow from time to time to post more here, but it's been crazy.
I hope someday to get back to posting on a more regular and frequent basis.
My first goal is to talk about the costumes I am fabricating for Halloween.
I will give you a hint..
"Can we dance?
Break it down"...

Hope whoever is reading this is still doing super and enjoying the fall that is here already.

" Life is Long"

2009-07-11T22:24:00.003-06:00

My father in law said that.. life is long.
Isn't it funny to think about a year ago, or 5 or 10?
Where you were, how you looked at life, how you tolerated society, how you made choices.
And here you are now, looking back.
Was it really so bad? Was it good?
I sit here today and think about where I was 5 years ago.
I had been divorced for a while and was sort of settling into the single mom groove. I was involved in the online dating scene and man oh man, I was ready to give up on men totally. Then I met Chris, he was my last chance, my final straw...if it didn't work with him, I was swearing off men.
And look at me now, married to him, 2 more kids, and I am so happy.
I wasn't unhappy then, but I had no idea how happy I could be. Or how happy I would be.
If I could change certain things, oh heck yeah, I would, lots of them. But why would I? What would that accomplish aside from changing where I am today, and thus changing where I will be next year and 5 years from now. You get the point.
I try very hard to accept things the way the are. For the way they played out and never look back with regret.
Everything happens for a reason. It happens to bring us to where we are today.

Things are rough right now for me with Katie, my stepdaughter.
She is a 14 year old girl, which in and of itself is a sucky time...I have been there.
But she has also spent the last 5 years of her life watching her parents split, then divorce, then one of them remarry, have 2 more children, and then move away.
She fought very hard for some time to bring them back together, to keep things "the way they were"
Then she got mad, she refused to accept the change, and now well, who knows what she really feels.
I am glad that life is long, when I first met her, she was friendly, and sweet.. no, she isn't snotty and sour, not all the time,
BUT she is very opinionated. She is always right, and she doesn't like me one lick.
Maybe in a year, or 2, or maybe when she is older, married, or even has children of her own, things will be different and I will look back on this time, and wonder...was it really so bad? or was it good?

Hmmmmm...

Time

2009-06-24T08:33:00.002-06:00

I feel like I never have enough of it.
I mostly come here to my blog to update...
I do honestly have many ideas of other real topics which I would love to blog about, but I am often doing other things, like spending time with my kids, dishes, laundry, or sleeping...ahhhh sleep...
anyway...
The last time I posted, it was during Spring, which felt like Summer, boy howdy..
now it's Summer and it feels like Hell...literally, it's like Brimstone and Fire outside...
this week we are reaching temperatures over 100 every day.
I posted on my facebook page just yesterday that I am thankful for many things, but mostly that we have a/c on these hot hot days.
I find it difficult to get motivated to go out anywhere.. but go out I must.
The groceries won't deliver themselves, and the library books won't take a taxi to get them selves turned in on time.. are there even taxi's in Oklahoma??
Well, let's see, what have we done...?
I drove to Hays to meet my sister so she and Donovan could go to California for the Sea World trip and their cruise around Mexico. They had an awesome time, from seeing Shamu to witnessing the naturally occurring blowhole at La Bufadora. He ate ice cream and played mini golf pretty much the 'hole' time, (get it? haha)
Then he spent a few days in Colorado with my Mom and Dad. They made home made Ice Cream, and even made a real volcano complete with Dinosaurs.
On the way out, we blew the hose to the a/c in the van, and on the way back I sat on the side of the highway just past the border of Oklahoma with a blown tire while Chris brought our 2 small children out to rescue me at 2 in the a.m.
Car trouble SUCKS.
While Donovan was gone, we took the LO's ( little ones) to The Little River Zoo. It's not your typical zoo. They have capuchin monkeys, ring tailed leumrs, red pandas and cotton topped tamarins, just to name a few of the unique animals that live there. They are all rescued animals, so you get a tour and an up close look at all of them. It was fascinating.
Owen loved to zoo, even though it was unbelievable hot. The funniest part was when he wanted to get in the cage with all the animals. Not that he was really all that interested in them, he was mostly fascinated by the bugs. That kids LOVES the bugs. Now if I can just get him to stop smashing them. Baby steps.
We have gone to my in laws house in Tulsa to swim, boy that pool is nice ..someday maybe Chris and I can have one for our kids and grand kids to enjoy.
This coming weekend, we are gone again to Dallas for my annual family reunion for my mom's family. Lots of new babies, my Julianna, and my cousin Andrea had triplets in Dec, plus the 2 babies that were born last summer and Owen the year before that. It's like our own little baby boom.
Then we are home again but going to Tulsa for the 4th of July to celebrate it with my in laws.. after that, I think we can relax.,., oh wait!!! Connor and Katie come out the 9th, and Connor will stay till the middle of August, and Katie will spend a week with us, she has her own stuff going on this summer, so we can visit with her for about a week.
Donovan went to Illinois last Sat. to spend the summertime with his dad. Boy, I miss that kid, but he sounds like he is having a great time. He comes back at the end of July.
School starts out here the week of Aug 12, so it's a short summer.
I will try to post some pictures here before too long, I first need to get them off of my camera.
But in the mean time, duty calls and the groceries need to be picked up..
enjoy the summer and if you're where it is hot, do everything you can to stay cool...

Spring is here, but it feels like Summer!!

2009-05-26T17:01:00.010-06:00

So Memorial Day has come and gone. I hope everyone took a moment to remember our fallen soldiers and all they have done for us as Americans.
It was a nice weekend, not too hot, not cold and aside from that LOUD storm that we had last night, is was perfect.
Usually we do something, as do many Americans, but yesterday, we just took the day off. Saturday we went to Wiley Post Park in OKC and let the boys run around. It was hot, but not unbearable.

Sunday we spent time trying to manage our yard. We finally put sand in the sandbox that has been holding standing water in our backyard, and that is Owen's new place to be.. I bet if we let him, he would play out there all day.

Chris trimmed back the hedges in our front yard.. which are holly bushes, yes holly bushes,, the prickly pokey kind, complete with berries, DO NOT REACH INSIDE FOR YOUR BALL...it WILL draw blood. Who puts holly bushes in their yard?
We also welcomed some gorgeous tiger lilies in the front. One has bloomed every day since Friday. I got pictures!!

We rent our house, so we just manage the lawn which is just clover and weeds, and not grass...we have considered buying this house, but until we know if we will or not, no sense in investing money into the yard unless it will be our yard for keeps.
So in the meantime, we just mow down the weeds so it doesn't look like we live in the rainforest.

I am hosting a playdate this week for my mommies group, so I thought it might be nice to have some outside activities...we have the climber Owen got for his 2nd birthday, the sandbox, the water squirting contraption and the wading pool that Owen got from Great Grandma Owens for his birthday. As well as sidewalk chalk and riding toys...you think that will be enough?
Those and all the toys we have that over run our house, I hope that there will be plenty for the 7 or so kids that will be here that day.

I have been to Oklahoma in the summer before, this will be of course my first experience living here. I know it's hot, I know it's humid, and I am ready.
My in laws have a pool and I have no issue using it. Maybe I don't have the hotbod I want, No; I am not back to my pre Julianna body yet, but hey I wasn't back to my pre Owen body before I got pregnant with her. My goal for 'someday' is to be back to my post Donovan body, not my pre Donovan body, I was still very skinny then. I don't think I would ever like to be that thin again. Regardless, it won't keep me out of the pool.
I would be fine hosing my self down with the garden hose too, at least at this house we have a fenced yard.
In 2 weeks, my sister is taking Donovan on a three day cruise, then he will finish out a week long visit with my parents. I used to love spending time with my grandparents. My sister and I used to spend time with my mom's youngest sister and my cousins, that was always fun too. I hope Donovan has a good time.
In a few short weeks he will go to spend 5 weeks with his dad and we should be getting Connor and maybe Katie for some time over the summer. That whole situation is as always difficult and trying but we have done what we can, and have not given up. Connor turns 10 on Monday and Katie turned 14 in the beginning of the month. As time has gone on, I am missing both of those kids more and more. I feel like I will have to really get to know them all over again when they are here for the summer. We saw them in March and already they had changed so much...heavy sigh.
Moving right along...
Julianna is days away from rolling over, she has the shoulders down, but her hips are holding her back some.

Owen is really talking..I told Chris months ago when he just said a few words, that once he felt confident in his speech, it would explode, and boy howdy...he has a vocabulary of about 200 words already. It grows a lot every day, as he repeats EVERYTHING he hears.. I am not kidding, if someone sneezes, he copies it, if you knock on the door, he shouts HELLO?
He is singing the theme song to Yo Gabba Gabba, our favorite show.. I am so very proud of him.

Donovan is officially a 4th grader now...man the time goes so fast.I feel as if I can remember every detail of his life, but yet here he is 9 years old and sometimes I feel like I don't even know him...my whiz kid, burnout paradise driving, guitar hero rocking young man....wink wink

Summer is going to be a blast.

Heidi

Baby Faith Hope

2009-05-23T21:33:00.003-06:00

Baby Faith went to Heaven today. She lived 93 days. I fell in love with her the same way I fell in love with my own daughter. She was born with chubby pink cheeks and she was diagnosed and born with Anencephaly.

She lived and thrived for 3 months of her life and she had a place in the hearts of many.
You can find her story at the top of my page, or just click here.

I don't have many followers of my blog, so it might be hard trying to get awareness out of the need for women of childbearing age to include Folic acid in their diets to help reduce the number of children who are diagnosed and are born with Anencephaly.
If you do happen to read my blog regularly, or you have just stumbled across it,please click here to read more abut Folic acid awareness.

And please pray for Baby Faith Hope, her Mama Myah and their family. Lift them up in your arms, God and give them strength.

A prayer for my son...

2009-05-20T12:35:00.003-06:00

I have posted in the past about my prayers for others: now has come the time for me to ask for prayers for my own child...until we visit the doctor, I won't know for sure what is going on with him. I do know that he needs to be lifted up in prayer right now. He needs to feel the arms of God wrapped around him.
He has a doctors appointment June 1, and I will update anyone personally via e mail..you can reach me at mommie328@gmail.com.
Until then suffice it to say that Donovan is struggling right now with right and wrong,and he is really having a hard time making the right choices. If you could just take a moment to say a quick prayer for him, thank you.

A new look and a new perspective

2009-05-15T20:16:00.003-06:00

I am trying to find a new look for my blog. I am not that versed in web design but being married to a self proclaimed computer geek has it's advantages. I am trying to do it on my own, but will ask for help if I need it. I have my eye on a nice template and when I get it loaded, I will share it. Bear with me while I add some much needed upgrades.
Thanks...

Now for my new perspective, not just in general, but in life, the way I love my family and kids, and the way I see God, and the role he plays in my life.

I am a member of BabyZone, a great digital socializing site for parents or parents to be. On BabyZone, I am on a member board for babies born in February, when Julianna was due, even though she came early, I am still there and networking with other moms about mommy issues...anything from breastfeeding, to colic, to diapers, to sleep, you name it, we talk about it.
Through my due date/birthday club, I found Danielle in California. She has 10 kids, and her youngest was born very early, you can read about her here.
From her blog, I found Jennifer a.k.a MckMama who's baby boy Stellan has a heart condition, you can read about her here. Through MckMama, I found Aimee and Adam who just lost their baby girl Kayleigh this week, you can read about them here.
From MckMama's blog I also found Lynnette, and you can read her blog here.
While reading Lynnette's blog, I read about her stories of loss. She has lost 3 children. One to Anencephaly, one to a heart condition, and the third was lost to complications from a diaphragmatic hernia. Through yet another blog that I can't trace back to, I found Myah, who has Faith Hope a baby girl who was born with Anencephaly, but is living. You can read about baby Faith here.
For a few years I only followed a few blogs. Dooce was one of my favorites, at first I really identified with her. As time wore on, it was more a way for me to compare my life to others "out there" and really, to be brutally honest, it helped me to better appreciate what I had in my life that was of worth.
Dooce or Heather is not shy about telling to world how she feels. She can have a foul mouth at times and often shares more personal information about herself and her family than I would ever feel comfortable sharing. She and her husband make a living off of her blog which is great, but not really what I hope to gain from blogging. I don't blog for any other reason than to share stories of my life, my ideas, my perspective on things, and I never want to over expose my family or children, but blogging is a good way to share what is going on in our lives for family and friends across the country, as we are all spread out.

I have not been reading Dooce as much lately. From my reading of other blogs, I have found a way for me to really appreciate the little things in life. That life is precious and short and very unpredictable.
I spend every night before I got to bed, looking for and reading the stories of other families who have suffered loss, or tragedy. I pray for them then I thank God for what I have. My wonderful children, my amazing husband. The house I live in, the fact that my husband has the job he has so that I can stay home with my children. Our health, and the fact that I have healthy children. I am amazed at the strength that some families have, the faith they have in their marriages, or in some cases just in life itself.

It doesn't take much sometimes to realize just how good you have it, but I believe that God has a way to show you things, events, people who can sort of put you in the right place to see that life really is good, and can be good. The one thing that all these families have in common that I have noticed is they didn't give up, they loved and lost in the biggest way, yet they are still living. That's what life is all about, living even in the face of adversity and death you just keep going.
Okay that's all I have for now. I really need to get some sleep, but I first need to get my baby girl to sleep first, have any of you mom's out there not been able to sleep if you know one of your kids is still awake? I have always had issues with that...
wish me luck, if she doesn't sleep neither of us will.

Happy Mother's Day!!

2009-05-10T09:51:00.003-06:00

My family is great!!
I don't want fancy gifts, or chocolates, or flowers.. what I really want is time with my kids and family, and that's what I got.
I got to sleep in a little, even Julianna slept late today. Then the boys made me breakfast and a nice cup of tea.
Donovan and Owen put on a great full of boy energy dance show for me and Chris, and Donovan gave me this:( to read it click on it and pardon the blur, I had to take the photo w/out flash to avoid glare)

It brought tears to my eyes. He wrote that poem on his own, he had it all framed ( with some help from his teacher) and wrapped up and he brought it home Friday afternoon. I waited until this am to open it and if you don't know my son, it really sums up who he is and the relationship he and I have. I may be partial, but like all the mom's in the world, I really do think I have some of the best kiddos on the planet.
I hope that all the mom's out there enjoy their Mothers day and the families who make it all possible.
I would just add that today may be Mother's Day as we have all come to know it, but I really think every day is Mother's Day.

Owen loves bugs

2009-05-08T15:48:00.007-06:00

Not the highest quality video...but I caught him enjoying the outdoors with a Ladybug this afternoon..I think the Ladybug even survived!!!

Yes Summer is here, and I think his Daddy would be proud, his Mama sure is, he loves bugs and being outside!! Welcome to Oklahoma Owen!!

Not me Monday

2009-05-04T10:35:00.006-06:00

I blogged a few days ago about MckMama and her son Stellan.
I read her blog every day and I wanted to share with you my Not Me's for her Not Me Monday carnival: more for fun that anything,

I did not put Owen to bed in one of Donovan's t shirts because I was too lazy to find some real PJ's for him, nope, not me....

Oh and this week, I did not just strip my 3 month old baby down to her bare skin and let be naked most of the day because I was tired of changing her spit up soaked onesies 8 times a day, nope that wasn't me either.

I also didn't let my kids watch way too much TV and play way to much X-box so I could be on my computer reading the blogs of ORM (other real moms) for a little perspective.. also, not me.

Hoping you all have a great week, not matter what you didn't do. ;-)

RUN.FOREST,RUN!!!!

2009-04-25T09:45:00.002-06:00

So a while back Chris registered to run a full marathon here in OKC , the OKC memorial marathon.
He never has run a full marathon before, and for a while he was doing very well with his training, then life got in the way, and he has not run in over 4 weeks...and he is still going forward with it. He starts at 4:30 in the a.m.
Yes- I am a bit worried, his Dr. said if he can run for 30 minutes without chest pain, he would be fine, and during training, he was up to 12 miles per run, so I am hopeful he will be okay.
The funny thing, if there is anything funny about this, is that of all forms of exercise, running it his least favorite type..
I swear sometimes I should not use energy trying to figure out the reasons he does some things.
Anyway, please keep him in your thoughts if you can, I would hate for anything bad to happen.
Thanks.

Thankful

2009-04-23T07:42:00.003-06:00

I have been connecting to many blogs from mom's who have seemingly normal lives, until you find out that their daily routine involves a sick child of some sort.
I can sometimes get lost and upset in my daily routine of diapers, sidewalk chalk, sippy cups, laundry and dishes, but I am so thankful that those are the only trials facing me every day.
Take for instance MckMama, a mom 4 who's baby boy Stellan wasn't even supposed to make it to birth and he is now 5 months old!! well you can read about it here.
I can't imagine having to deal with that, the worst moment of my life with any of my kids was in August of 2005, when my oldest son fell out of a second story window. I am so thankful he was okay.
I also read about baby Soli. She was born at 25 weeks and weighed only 25oz..she was due around the same time Julianna was. Can you imagine!!??
That mom has other children, too, who she calls differently-abled..both moms are really setting a fine example of the challenges facing moms today. I pray for their babies, for them and I thank God for what he has dealt me. He really does know our own personal limits and I believe that he never gives us more than we can handle.

I have truly been blessed to have children with all their parts, very few health problems, and I am so glad that I don't have more on my plate, but I think about these other moms all the time, it keeps my life in perspective.
Maybe you can go check out their stories, and find a little perspective of your own.
If not,that's fine too, it's all relative,isn't it?

In the name of the Father, and The Son and The Holy Spirit...

2009-04-21T16:27:00.002-06:00

a photo of my precious daughter in her baptismal gown..she is such a blessing, as was her special day.

6 weeks to WOW!!

2009-04-21T11:08:00.002-06:00

So I took on this challenge of getting my house super clean and clutter free in 6 weeks, greener too.
So far I feel I have done well.
We still have a plenitude of boxes in the garage to sort through, but the main part of the house has been cleaned and kept clean for a week. I know what you are saying, A WEEK?? but keep in mind-I have a newborn, and a toddler who demands a lot of my time. I also feel it is important to take care of my family. So a week can be hard with all the little side projects going on.
My trick is to pick one thing to work on; toilets, windows, floors, or whatever, then I spend 15-20 minutes working on that thing when I have the time; and I do at least once a day.
Then after everyone is tucked in for the night, I straighten up the house to prepare for the onslaught of toys and dishes that will present themselves the next day.
I feel so much better when the house isn't all cluttered. I have more energy as well.
I still have a lot to do, but if I concentrate on one small task a few times a day, then I don't feel as overwhelmed.
I am in week 3 of my challenge, so stay posted for updates..and hints, maybe some ideas from readers too...one challenge I feel totally up to.
The next challenge is the 20 lbs I plan to lose by my 37 th birthday this year.And not just lose the weight but get fit too, I want my prebaby (or babies as the case may be) belly back.
One step at a time!!

Spring has Sprung

2009-04-15T11:57:00.004-06:00

I can not fathom the arrival of Spring. Yet here we are, deep into Spring in Oklahoma. We have had near torrential rains, fires that got close to our town, and I am sure there will be a tornado for us to worry about before its all over. I can't imagine what Summer will bring.
AHHH the joys of southern living. Donovan made a comment just the other day that if he had a wish, he would wish for no more natural disasters. The poor thing just hates them, and who can blame him.

We had a great Easter, we colored eggs Saturday night..
Owen LOVED that part. He was absolutely amazed to see the white egg change color..here is a photo that Chris snapped with his reaction.
Julianna took part too, she sat on my lap and we let her hold her very first Easter egg..
Donovan had the most fun, I think, he is super creative and he really enjoyed just being able to sit with the family and do something together. There are many times where we just have so much going on, that sitting down for an activity can be rare.

The Easter Bunny usually hides the eggs for us, but he didn't this year ( actually I overslept..) so Donovan was a bit surprised to see me hiding the eggs when he got up..I told him the bunny had forgotten.. he volunteered to hang out in his room until I was done. Looking for eggs on Easter morning is a tradition we have had since Donovan's early holidays.
So the boys hunted for eggs, and had Easter candy and chocolate for breakfast and we all went to church.
I baked a spiral Ham and made some potato salad and deviled eggs and we had anice quiet Easter feast.
It was a quiet and relaxing day, one that we have needed for sometime.

This coming weekend is the Baptism of Julianna. My family, parents and sister are coming into to town, as are Chris's immediate family.We have asked his best friend Chong to be a sponsor and his sister Misty as well.
So we will have a very full house this weekend.
My sister will be holding a Heritage Maker workshop for me and I am super excited.
I am currently working on a poster of the boys, and a book about my 5 kids.
If I had more time, I would try to do more, but as it is..well, I have plenty to do.

Anyway, I just wanted to get a quick post in before I head back to the daily grind, until the next time....

Owen is 2

2009-04-01T11:51:00.003-06:00

Happy Birthday Owen.
You are talking more and more now, you can run fast to try to keep up with Donovan.
You love and adore the baby in the house. You call her sissy and love on her all the time.
Your favorite activities and Bubbles, riding in your push car, going outside. and of course doing everything that your big brother Donovan does, whether it's good or bad.

Momma and Daddy are SO PROUD OF YOU!!

In other updates:

Julianna is now 2 months, she is smiling all the time, cooing a lot and even laughs out loud sometimes. She had her checkup, she is tiny still only 10 lbs 10 oz. I am not used to a small baby, the boys were both so big. She is a real treat. She loves to nurse but hates anything atrificial in her mouth, so no pacifier for her..can be challenging, but we can manage.

Donovan turned 9 over the weekend and man oh man, it's like all of a sudden he is a young man. He is maturing so fast, he is reading above grade level and getting straight A's in school. He is continuing to do Karate, but we aren't sure for how long.
I am so proud of all my kids.
We are of course still working out the stuff with Katie and Connor..I think Lisa would really like to drag this out until Connor is 18 so there is no resolution, but Chris is no where close to the point of giving up.
It really taxes him, but he won't give up on his kids.
I am so lucky to have him.
Sorry this is so brief, I have a limited amount of time to be the digital mommy, so much to do, so little time.
I hope whoever is reading this is having a fine day and thanks for stopping by.

2009-02-23T16:40:00.000-07:00

How Heidi Got Her Groove Back....

2009-02-15T19:20:00.004-07:00

Okay, so I have been through this having a baby thing 3 times now.. and each time it has been a totally different experience...Julianna will be 3 weeks old this Weds and I am JUST now feeling human again..and only about 85% at that.
We have a good nursing groove going.. she still has some spitting up issues, which I addressed with her Dr. and was reassured they are okay ( normal) and I feel rested..enough that I am back to keeping up with my other household jobs which I did not have the energy to do since..oh like December!!!??
Owen is fascinated by her, he loves on her all the time and there a few times during the day when he gets frustrated when I am holding her so he throws things at her, but as long as we stay positive and don't over react to his throwing, he will re-direct pretty easily.
Donovan is so great with her, he is able to pick her up and hold her and comfort her if for some reason Chris or I can't get to her right away.
He loves on her all the time too.
I can't wait to see her with Connor and Katie..my family gets to meet her in March.
We will go out for a little over a week during Spring Break.
I don't know if I mentioned it, but it seems that our baby girl will have reddish hair.. there are times when it really shows, most times its a very beautiful shade of strawberry blonde.. I love it.. and the funny thing is she displays that 'redhead' kind of temperament sometimes.. not very patient and very demanding.. she wants what she wants when she wants it.
She is getting better at sleeping alone, as in not being held, or sleeping next to me..so I can tell she is growing up..times really flies.
Donovan will be 9 in march..and then right after , Owen will be 2!!!!!!
Chris has his mediation conference this week with his ex wife..I hope it goes well for him.. it has really been heavy on his mind..as you can imagine. Keep him in your thoughts, won't you, that we get to a good agreement regarding the kids. We are all missing them.
Chris is also training to run in the OKC memorial marathon.. yep a full marathon.. he runs 3-5 miles 3 days a week then a big run 10-12 miles once a weekend to prepare... the kids and I will take part in the 5 k walk that goes along with it, for support.
We are staying busy, and starting to feel a better smoother groove with our new addition it will take some time, but I can feel that it is happening. We talked the other night about how it will take some time, but we can both see the adjustments.
Well, my free time is over, Julianna is beckoning me once again.. until next time..

Check this out:

2009-02-06T21:46:00.003-07:00

My big sister.. who is also my best friend.. yeah yeah how cliche' right? any hoo..
She has a blog now too.. and she is doing this Digital Scrapbooking thing..
This last fall she had a bound book made for Donovan about one of his football games.. that thing is so freaking priceless...
Now she has a way to make as many as she wants.. books, scrapbook, announcements..you name it...
www.clubstorybook.blogspot.com
I can't wait until she makes books for all my other kids.. well maybe not Katie.. you have to have pictures for them and I have hardly any of her recently..
Maybe I need to try to work on that..
Anyway, I will be back with more later.. I am about 85% back to human after Julianna's arrival..a new post is on it's way!!

And after everything else...

2009-01-29T20:25:00.006-07:00

Julianna Alyse Mallow has arrived. 8 lbs 8 oz 20 inches born at 4:17 am January 28 2009.
rewind to Tuesday..in the middle of the ice storm hitting the south and east; I went to bed at 12:05 a.m.
I awoke at 1:00 am to some more powerful contractions. Fearful of another wasted trip to labor and delivery, I laid there for 30 minutes with the hope that I was imagining them or they would go away. Well they did not.
So I got up, and did my hair while I ran a bath. I got in the bath for about 20 minutes and they continued to get worse..and closer together.
I decided this was finally it and I had to wake up Chris and get the show on the road.
2:15 am, Chris and I started to get our things together and wake his grandma to let her know it was time.
I woke Donovan to tell him good bye, and we were off.
By the time we got in the car it was about 2:45.
The roads were pretty icy, but since it was so early in the morning, there was not much traffic.
We even managed to sit and wait for a train, luckily it was a short fast one.. there were so many ways that she could have been born in our car!!
We arrived at the hospital 3:20 and I was in a terrible amount of pain.. I was feeling the urge to push and wondered if I waited to long and we might not make it in time...we barely did.

We got me up to Labor and Delivery, and I told the nurses "NO TRIAGE, I NEED A ROOM"..when they got me in to the room, I threw up and my water broke, they got my into the bed and checked me, the first assessment claimed I was a 7..the second determined I was actually at 8+, by 4 am, I am a full 10, and ready to go...
after 17 minutes of pushing she came out, FACE UP!@!%$#
OUCH.. It was hard and it hurt very bad.. I am ashamed and embarrassed that I made quite a scene, there was a lot of screaming and yelling.
I did manage to get an epidural, but I don't think it really had much time to take before she came.. I was glad to have it just the same. The anesthesiologist who gave it to me, was not patient and did not tolerate a lot of hollering from me, to be honest that was the hardest part, the being still while he administered it. I have never claimed to have a high pain tolerance..and this was proof of what a wuss I really am.
I am blessed to have my baby, and that her birth came and went quickly.
I have a few pictures, but am still in the hospital until tomorrow afternoon.
She seems to take after just about everyone she is related to, she looks like Chris and I, but also my grandmother, Chris' father,his mother too, Owen and I can see a little of Donovan.
She has my mothers fingers.. and I can't wait until my family gets to see her.
She has strawberry blonde hair, and a lot of strawberry marks or stork bites..
I love her petite features, she seems so tiny to me, though she is not that small. She just seems so much smaller than the baby I have been used too.
The boys came to the hospital yesterday and both did well...Owen was as gentle as a 22 month old could be.. I think he will do very well with her, as long as he still gets enough time with me.
We have a lot of help around, so it will be easy at first.. It is nice to have family close, just like when we had Owen, and when I had Donovan, it makes all the difference.
Chris did a wonderful job the whole time and he is once again a proud new papa.. he really loves his children, but I think he really loves the brand new baby stage. Feeling her breath on his neck, her little noises, well just everything about her. I am the same way.
I am so happy that she is finally here...I will post some more when we get settled at home.
Thanks for checking in with us.

Quick update...

2009-01-27T09:17:00.003-07:00

We are in the middle of a big ice storm...Julianna is still cooking.. at the Dr. yesterday, I was at 3 cm and still about 60% effaced. Cervix is still posterior ( it needs to be anterior), so we are still plugging along.
I am still having contractions, but until she is ready, it's not going to happen.
I am just hoping that she waits a few more days to make her appearance, but will welcome her whenever she wants to come!!Getting to the hospital might be tricky today.
Chris's Grandma Owens is here staying with us until she comes, unless its like 3 weeks....she is so wonderful to have around. She caught me up on my laundry, and just wants to do whatever she can to help. I love having her here, it's good for us both, as her husband Ray passed away last summer, and I still miss my grandma so much, so it's nice that we have each other to talk to.

Donovan is home from school today due to the ice storm, and he and Grandma are spending the day playing games, and I am just relaxing.
Chris is working from home so he is all holed up in his study doing whatever it is he does..a lazy day.
I actually got up today and made breakfast for everyone, bacon, eggs, toast... it was super to sit together and eat as a family. The only thing that would have made it better is having my family here and having the rest of Chris's family here.
Anyway, that's the update.
I hope everyone is having a good week.
Until the next time.

Let them try to tell me otherwise, she is on her way!!!

2009-01-16T15:15:00.006-07:00

OK so here is the deal. Have you heard of that Mother's Instinct, or Intuition? I think I have that... and it is telling me that I am in labor.
Movies portray that labor is a process wherein the bag of waters breaks in a big gush, then the woman goes to the hospital in screaming fits from strong contractions and shortly there after, they have a baby.
Well, in movieland, or even most of the baby story reality shows present that type of labor. Mine however is not typical of television or movies.
When I had Owen, I went into labor on March 12th and he was not born until April 1. My body takes labor very seriously and slowly...I get that now.
I am doing the same thing with Julianna.
My contractions started Tuesday and got stronger Wednesday and now are regularly happening. I am dilating and effacing. So Yes, I am in stage 1 of labor.
Julianna has dropped in to position and I can feel her making progress down the canal. As well as I no longer feel her up in my ribs, I have to pee a lot more and I can eat again.. I mean real meals.. this is it!!
Chris and I have talked about what this means, and have been working out or plan for how it will go, who will do what and who will be with the boys and all that.
I have had several long talks about it with my sister, who many times is my voice of reason, and she and I agree that this is just the way I labor. It makes me feel better, she has this mantra, "It is what it is" and heck yeah sister, Amen to that!!!!

It is sort of difficult to plan our delivery around this long process, but we do sort of have a plan.
First of all, we won't go to the hospital until the contractions are very close together... I don't think I need to rush that trip. I like the idea of laboring at home anyway.. no Dr's or nurses to check you every hour or so...I HATE BEING CHECKED...I will go with what my body and instinct tell me. I don't like being confined to a bed hooked up so I can't even move around. Yeah, this is good.

Chris is taking the boys to Tulsa tomorrow to spend the day with Grandma and he will work along side his dad so I have the day to myself.I want to spend that time making final preparations.
I am going to force some nesting and get my house clean, as clean as I can, and pamper myself, and prepare for the delivery. You know, shave the legs, paint the nails, get presentable.
I already have everything ready for her, and I have my bags packed, ready to go.
I ordered some lotion online that is an herbal remedy to augment labor, or rather contractions, so I hope to get that this weekend and help my kick start the contractions to gain momentum.
I have another visit with the OB on Monday, and my main goal is to get myself to a good 4-5 cm dilated by then so I can try to go as natural as possible. I would love for my water to break on its own, but I don't know if it will.
Once it does, I think things will go quickly.
I am seriously opposed to Pitocin, so I want to avoid it at all costs, that and any other questionable medical intervention that is not absolutely needed. I will let them break my water, but that's only how far I am really willing to let them intervene. If I have to labor for 24 hours plus, that is just fine with me. As long as I am not in danger, and either is Julianna, then I am fine with how long it might take.
My due date is not until Feb 9, so I have plenty of time, however, it's not very pleasant to be having these strong contractions all day everyday and not really see the end in sight. Kind of makes it hard to function normally. Ya know?
I know that my daughter is on her way, I can feel it.. that is not this issue.. I just have no way of knowing when she will get on the fast track and really make her way out.
The other part of my plan is to walk. I will take the dogs for the longest walk I can tomorrow. I find that when I am walking around the contractions really get going and intensify. Another indicator, as if I needed one, that the game is on.
Owen is really getting a kick out of my behavior through all of this. When I am moving around and have a nice strong contraction, I will squat to help 'open' things up and he thinks this is the time for him to come love on me and hug me. he almost always wants to sit on my lap, but ends up knocking me over instead. That's fun!!!

I am so ready to meet her, it's not funny. I dream in pink and that's just a small part.
I have a gut feeling that she will be here by next weekend, but I am not psychic.. I just have a feeling.
( p.s in the 25 minutes it took me to write and edit this post, I have had 5 very strong contractions...you could just call me the "laboring blogger", eh?)

Wish me luck and I hope that very soon, I will be back to post some very exciting news.
Have a wonderful weekend and until the next time.....

is this the end of my rope?

2009-01-12T19:14:00.005-07:00

Michelle Duggar, you must be a saint. In fact, any mom who has birthed more than 3 children, I give kudos to.
I don't know how much longer I can make it. Some days are better than others, but lately, I just barely muster the energy to make it through one day.
I pretty much slugged it all weekend, poor Chris, sorry babe.
And yet today, I am still exhausted.
I have an instinctual feeling that it has a lot to do with having a toddler whom I chase after all day, aside from his nap time. That and the fact that Julianna insists on situating herself in the upper part of my torso. I can only imagine the disarray my internal organs are in right now.
I have the first of my weekly visits tomorrow, I have made it here to 36 weeks without incident, so that's great. and if I make it to 38, even better. In essence, I still have 4 weeks to go, but she would be safe in two.

Another issue I have is my Dr.
Don't get me wrong, he is not a bad Dr., but I had mentioned that Chris and I were going to hire a doula and things have never been the same. I think I offended him.
On a personal note, I found two lumps in my right breast after Owen was born, and my(Colorado) OB/GYN ordered them to be biopsied. Good news, they were benign fiberadenomas. The eventually went away and all was well.
Now at the tail end of this pregnancy, one of them is back... and is big enough, that if you look at me, you can see it, not to mention that it is painful. Chris can feel it without my telling him where it is, and when I asked my OB about it, as he felt it he actually said to me" Oh, that little thing?", SERIOUSLY??
It's not little..HELLO.. and for a Dr to dismiss it like that made me feel like a boob myself.
I asked him if I should be worried, and he said no. So now what do I do?
When I had Owen, they augmented my slow going labor with Pitocin and it made my contractions intense. I asked him if I could labor without Pitocin this time he got rather huffy with me and said, "I am the Dr, I would hope you would trust my judgement and that if I told you you needed medication to help you, you would just take it."
I also talked to him about having my tubes tied after she was born, and was told that the only way I could have after her birth was if I had an epidural during labor. Otherwise I would have to come back in 6 weeks for outpatient surgery. Oh, and he was nice enough to mention that he was the only Dr in the practice who does postpartum tubal ligation, none of his partners did, so if he delivered her, I was fine, if he didn't then well I was SOL.
I have never had a male OB/GYN before, but I tell you what, this experience is not what I would call stellar.
I called a Women's Hospital here in OKC today to switch Dr's and BOOOO HOOOOO, they won't switch Dr's this late in pregnancy. I am stuck where I am.
And to top it all off, we can't get a doula now either. Both of the doula's I contacted took so long to get back to me, that neither is avaible for my delivery date, and now there is not enough time to secure one .
So I have an obstinate know it all Dr. and he will probably be the one to deliver my last baby.. I am not looking forward to it at all.
I am so looking forward to having my little girl, to birthing for the last time and to be able to sleep on my tummy again.

Oh yeah.. I have not done ANYTHING to get ready for her to come either. No car seat in the car, I have a few things she can wear when she gets here, but not much. I seriously need to do some baby shopping....sigh...Maybe I bit off more than I can chew this time. My in laws will be here and we have plenty of family to watch the boys, but I don't think my family will be able to be here for her actual birth, they will come out after. Part of the drag of living so far from family. But this is the first time that Chris' parents will be able to be there!!

I am going to try to post more, but can't guarantee that this will won't be the last post before She makes her debut!!

Until the next time....

I am soooooo glad.....

2009-01-11T08:27:00.003-07:00

...that the college football season is over.
I love football and all, but it's just so upsetting to see Chris suffer after his team loses time and time again after going so far.
It will be nice to have a break. especially now that Julianna is so close to making her debut.
Someday, the Sooners will make it to the end and actually win.. I honestly feel the pressure is too much for them.

Happy Holidays....

2008-12-31T16:23:00.004-07:00

It has been a busy Holiday Season around here. I took the boys (Owen and Donovan) with me to Colorado to spend Christmas with my family. I would have loved it if Chris could have come with us, but with his new job, he didn't have much in the way of vacation time and well what he did have left, he wanted to use for when his kids were here.
They got here the 28th and we had them until this morning. It was nice to have them around. I wish I could say that the dynamic is different, in some ways it is, but Katie is still Katie and Connor has had several weeks of uninterrupted influence from his mom's family, so he is a little bit more stand offish than we are used to him being. He is still the very affectionate boy who has no issue displaying his love for us. I am going to really miss him.
Chris' long time friend Chong came over for a few days from California and let the kids play with his guitar hero game, they are all hooked. In Fact, we went and bought one..even I am hooked.

Chris' parents came over Friday night to exchange gifts, and then Saturday we spent the evening at Chris' cousins house for yet another Christmas exchange and celebration.
It's weird, New Years has come and gone and I have no, well feeling, whatsoever about the new year to come.
I think my biggest thought/worry about 2009 is having a girl baby. I am so acclimated to having boys, that I am scared about having a girl. I have heard so many different opinions about girls being easier, versus boys, and vice versa, but when it really comes down to it, I don't know if I will have a clue!!
I think 2009 will be a better year, we are more settled, Chris has a job he really likes, I am finally a SAHM, and loving it. The only thing I wish is that we could get more time with Chris' kids. It shows so much when they are here that they would do so much better to have more time around our family. I will work harder to get Donovan more time with his dad too. Over the past years, I have seen how important it is for the kids to have time with both parents, no matter what.

In the end, we will have to see what comes for us regarding Katie and Connor when we have the arbitration in Feb. Fingers crossed the arbitrator sees what is right for the kids...
Sorry that I have not been better at posting.. being pregnant takes a large toll on me, and add to that the toddler who demands so much of my time, and then the boys.. Donovan and Chris.. well, I have plenty to keep me busy.
Speaking of the pregnancy, things are going well. Julianna is sitting very high up right about now, which means my heart is in my throat, my stomach is somewhere up in the left side of my rib cage, causing me A LOT of heartburn. And if I am correct in her position, her feet are inside my right rib cage, hmmmm, maybe I have a gymnast growing inside of me. I have only gained about 20 pounds, which is a far cry from the 30 + I gained with D and the nearly 40 I gained with Owen.
I am what they call " all baby" all out in front, and with 5 weeks maybe 6 to go, I am more ready now. I am getting to the point where tying my shoes is difficult, sleeping is nearly impossible. I do my best to get what sleep I can at night, but most days I need to rest during the day.
As much as I love being pregnant, I am relieved that this will be the last time I will go through this.
I honestly don't know how other women do it. But I give them much credit.

Anyway, a new year is here and we all have new ideas for how we want this year to go. I just want less stress...if I can achieve that, then it will be a good year!!

Goodnight Moon

2008-12-01T17:47:00.003-07:00

My dad called me tonight, on his way home from work and told me about this view:
December 1.
I showed Donovan the view, I passed on showing Owen, he is too young.
Let me tell you what, Donovan was really amazed when I told him those were planets.
Here is one of the few pictures I got, it's hard to take pictures of the moon and 2 planets from Earth, but I did my best.
I hope some of you heard about it and were able to see it.
And thanks to my dad for pointing it out to me.
He always shows me a new way to look at things.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-25T09:20:00.001-07:00

I hope all of you have a Wonderful holiday, filled with love and family, and that you remember to be thankful for all the good in your life and all of your blessings as well.
Don't eat too much Turkey, that way you can save room for Dessert!!

Birthing options

2008-11-12T15:03:00.005-07:00

I have been reading a book given to me by a dear friend, (thanks, Gayla!)
It's called Birthing from Within.
I love this book for so many reasons.
When I gave birth to Donovan, I was a new mom, with no real idea what birth was like.
In today's day and age, everyone wants to take what a Dr says at face value. They are the ones who went to school right? You would think they know better than we do, but I am not sure that is always the case when it comes to labor.. don't get me wrong, they do know what they are doing, but sometimes, I think they have a different idea of what labor should be, we have gotten so far away from where we began.. sometimes, technology is great when you really need it, but doing things the way they were done 100 of years ago might be worth looking into in this instance. My great grandmother birthed 11 kids at home on a farm in northern Colorado with a midwife and she didn't die, or lose a child and she didn't have Pitocin and have to be induced and she never had an epidural.. and she was only 4'11" tall. Incidently this is one of my heroes who I am naming my daughter after.. she brings me such inspiration, I mean heck if she raised 11 kids, I don't have anything to complain about, and why can't I do it!! this is only my third!!
I went to all my scheduled appointments, listened to my doctor and did what I was told, when it came to delivery day, she opted to induce me, due to the fact that at the time, I still had a pretty petite frame and an ultrasound revealed that he was not going to be a small baby, so she told me if I didn't go into labor over the weekend( this was Friday) that I should report to the hospital Monday evening for my induction.
I really was naive.. the used an investigational drug used to treat Pepcid Ulcers ORALLY, up my good girl to ripen the cervix..after the fact I read about this drug which from what I gather can cause massive hemorraging and can be complicated see what can happen here.. so maybe it was not such a good idea to have it.
Anyway, I was induced, started having contractions and had only the labor nurses and my husband to coach me through them, the nurse seemed to be very happy when I told her they hurt. She said " that's good" when I told her I was uncomfortable, and my husband at the time just did his best to help me breathe through them.. I ended up having an epidural at 4 cm and lying on my back, letting the Dr break my water and just wait until they told me to push.
Not the experience I had visioned, but then again, what was I really expecting? This is they way it was done, right?
So the second time around, I was a little more assertive and wanted to walk around and let nature help me, I wanted to go into labor naturally( after I labored for nearly 2 weeks and they wouldn't grant my requested to be induced since I was so uncomfortable), I walked the halls of the hospital and when I got to about 3 am, they strapped me to the fetal monitor and there I was again, lying in bed. They broke my water to move things along. It was on their time table that I labored, not nature...
I labored Owen until I was about 7 cm, but since I wasn't dilating as fast as they wanted, they augmented my labor with Pitocin, which intensified my contractions immensely.. I am convinced that had they been patient and not set my labor to their time table, I would have been okay on my own without an epidural, but I ended up having one anyway, I couldn't focus on anything but the amount of pain I was in.. I really felt like a failure,, women for years have been birthing their babies without pain medication, so why can't we all do it now?
What has happened in the medical world where more woman then ever are having C- sections, and are having their labors induced, and 1000's of women just go to the hospital, get strapped to an IV and lie there until they are told to push..
Where is the free will of birth?
This time, I am taking drastic measures..first of all I am hiring a doula.. she will be there to be my voice, while I do what I can to labor in the way nature intended, she will be there just for me, and to help Chris be there for me as well.
To better explain what a doula is check this out. What is a doula?
I will make this third and last labor the one I want.. I know I can manage the pain, I can wait the time it takes to labor my daughter, I can listen to my body and I want to feel like I am finally in control of my labor and listening to what it tells me about what I need to do to birth the way nature intended.
I may have to go to a birthing center and get a midwife, I will know after Monday, I am going to talk to my current OB about what my plans are, and if he supports them, then I will stick with the medical center I am currently planned to birth at, otherwise, off to a birthing center I go. One of the most wonderful parts of my 'awakening' to all of this, is the wonderful support I get from my amazing husband, He is the reason I feel like I can do anything I want to..thanks babe!!

Neat inventions

2008-11-06T13:48:00.002-07:00

I found these bonnets a while back, shortly after I weaned Owen. So I didn't need one then but I know that I will be nursing Julianna as well, so this is for sure on my wish list of things I want for the new baby....check it out.

Nursing bonnets

One of the cool features is that the bonnets fit on the babies head sideways making it even easier to nurse in public comfortably. What will they think of next I wonder?

25 weeks

2008-11-04T14:46:00.003-07:00

Chris and I took so many pictures of my expanding belly during my pregnancy with Owen, I guess we totally forgot this time around, so we took one the other night,. I feel huge, but looking at this picture, I guess I still have a ways to go. She feels like she is much higher up in there than the boys were, what do you think?
I have really started to feel her kick more and more, she is an active child, and here I was worried...she will fit right in, as I type this, I am listening to Donovan complain about how much energy he has...sigh, to have too much energy, right?
So with only 15 weeks to go to make it full term, I am excited to be going pink! Ruffles and lace will be a welcome change to trucks and transformers.
I hope you all got out and Rocked The Vote today..and more than that,I hope they get the votes counted before Thanksgiving!!!
Until next time,

Tonight's dinner

2008-10-29T16:32:00.003-06:00

Since being a stay at home mommy, I have been able to dive back into my love of cooking.
The weather here in OK is chilly in the a.m., nice and fall like in the daytime, and once the sun goes down it gets down right cold.. so I made a warm your bones kind of dinner tonight:

Home made from scratch Chicken Noodle Soup.

I like that there is so much that I can freeze it and have some later. Too bad no one here has a cold.

I can't wait....

2008-10-29T08:08:00.002-06:00

....for this years presidential election to be over.
I tire so easily of all the mud slinging, " I will do this better than him" or "He will do this, but I won't"
Frankly, I just want it all to be over. I watch tv and get sick of the ads that are made to hurt the opponent. MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY!!!
I have made my decision on who to vote for be reading and listening to what they have to say about what they really see the can do if given the chance.
That's all I have to say about that.

Saturday October 25 2008

2008-10-25T09:11:00.003-06:00

Life is good, for the most part. I am slowly adjusting to the change of pace and style of living in this rural area as opposed to living conditions I had in the past, in Colorado, and Connecticut.
I have noticed a few things that I am not sure exist elsewhere...
There are a large concentration of Churches in the area, literally one every one or two blocks, most are Church of Christ or Baptist, but there are others, Lutheran, Methodist, and there even some non-denominational churches.
We have not started going to one yet, but will soon, there sure are plenty to choose from!!

There are also more pharmacies than gas stations, seriously...there is a CVS or a Walgreens on nearly every 3rd block and most of them are on opposite corners from each other. It's crazy...now speaking of grocery stores, so far, I have only found two nearby, a Homeland and a Wal-mart Market, not a super center, they only sell groceries. It's like the old school Wal-Mart.

So it's just something to get used to, it wasn't like that back in Colorado.
I am not complaining...so don't misread me, it's only an observation of the culture changes.

Things are going well. I am adjusting to being home full time and it's nice, I am fighting the urge to be a slug 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
I have to remind myself to shower and to change clothes, I can just wear the same stuff to bed that I wore that day, and no one would care...but I do, so I make sure to retain some idea of normalcy when it comes to my life.
Owen and I hang out and play and watch a bit of TV. Some of his favorite shows are Handy Manny, Higglytown Heroes, and Peep. Peep is a great show, it is narrated but Joan Cusak and I tell you what, I enjoy it as much as I enjoy Heroes or CSI.. crazy!! We take walks, there is a nice park nearby, and soon we may start taking Dash out too.
We also find time to play, he really likes this game we call 'empty the toy box'..there isn't much playing, we take all the toys out one by one and talk about them, see what they do and then we put them back. He loves it!! I think it gives him a sense of accomplishment, since he does most of the putting away. He really loves that kind of thing, he wants to put his diapers in the garbage, & take his dirty clothes to the laundry room, he really strives to 'help' and I love it. Donovan used to be that way, now? not so much.

I have a few more things to do to prepare for the upcoming arrival of Ms Julianna, we are debating on whether or not to move Owen into Donovan's room ( we are still trying to get Chris's kids out here, but it is turning out to be very difficult, his ex won't even let Chris have them here for Thanksgiving, I just wish someone would tell her it is not her decision to make).
We got Owen a toddler bed a while back, but I am not sure he is ready for that, he may need to safety of a crib for a few more months, and we are not sure if a big boy bed is the way to go, especially with a newborn in the house. I still have a little while, but I have made my self a promise that I will not subject myself to unneeded stress from now on, if it's not done by the time I go into labor, we will just go with the flow. I much prefer my life with a lower stress level.

Chris is doing okay, he has had some difficulty adjusting, too, but I think his is for the most part accomplished, he loves his job, he loves the house, and he of course loves living in OK. He does however miss Katie and Connor, they are difficult to get a hold of via phone, so he tries when he can, but he doesn't get to talk to them often.
I keep reminding him that the more he remains present for them, the stronger his relationship will be, and he does his best, given how difficult Lisa makes everything, his best is all he can do.

Today OU has another game, I am planning on making cookies and 7 layer dip to munch on, kick off is in 30 minutes, so I best get started.

Until the next time....

The Tortise and the Hare

2008-10-14T12:45:00.004-06:00

First of all, my apologies for the long delay.
We are successfully moved into our new home in beautiful Oklahoma City.
You certainly get more bang for your buck here than in other parts of the world. We see the difference in cost in many ways, I drove past a 7-11 today with regular unleaded gas for a mere $2.33 a gallon! Holy Cats!! But the last time I went to Wal-Mart for groceries, I paid over $3 for a lb of sugar!!! It is a much more rural area and moves at a much slower pace. It reminds me of Colorado when I was growing up, before it exploded with growth!!
The slower pace here is taking some getting used too. I rather like it, we do not rush to get up in the am, no alarm, seeing as how Donovan does not need to be at school until 9:00 a.m., so we just wake up when we wake up. We have cut it short a few times, but thanks to my ex husband who calls to talk to Donovan EVERY morning around the same time, if we are sleeping too late, his call reminds us of such.
The neighborhood we live in is only about 10 years old, and unfortunately, much like our last neighborhood, it seems to have been constructed quickly and with much haste, there are some things that will take us a while to repair, but since we will be buying this house in the next 3 years, we are happy to take care of them on our own. We will paint it, the colors we wish to, and replace the carpet as well, but over all the house is solid and reliable and will fit our needs for many years.
On a side note, we will be painting one of the bedrooms PINK, as we found out, after originally deciding not to , that our 5th child is a girl!!
Her name will be Julianna Alyse Mallow, named after Julius and Annie, my grandmother's (who passed away in 07) parents, and my mom's mom Alice.
I am still adjusting to the idea of pink. I had for many years really wanted a daughter, and I think I mentally prepared myself to have another boy, so I am trying to wrap my head around ruffles, lace and pigtails, rather than trucks, hot wheels cars, and a haircut every month!!
All of us are elated to be expecting her, even Katie wishes to fly out when she is born, she wants to have a relationship with her little sister, and I will welcome that with wide open arms!!!
I have a suspicion that she is going to be a calmer baby than my boys are, I don't feel her move nearly as much as I did the boys, and I just get a different vibe from this pregnancy, it's just different, I guess it's the fact that it's a girl!!

After the move, well actually during the move, we realized just how much junk we have accumulated over the past years.
I admit, most of it is mine, but Chris has his share of boxes full of stuff that we don't need.
So our nice spacious 3 car garage is filled up with box after box of stuff.
It is our goal to weed through it and purge what we don't need, which will take a while, but I am not allowing the boxes into the house. I have made myself a promise to keep this house clutter free, and if I don't start from day 1, then I will fail miserably.
So far so good. There is only 1 floor to the house, with a large open floor plan, so no stairs, and I can get so much done being able to move easily from room to room without becoming winded. I continue to get big, which is no surprise, I got very large with both Donovan and Owen, so I doubt this one will be much different.

I wish I could sit here and tell you more about our new location, but alas, I need to get ready to drive Donovan out to Missouri to meet his dad halfway. Donovan has 3 days off of school, and I offered Dirk the opportunity to have a long weekend with Donovan, so we are meeting in the middle, a nice 12 hour drive for me, but if Donovan gets to have time with his father, then I am all for it.
We will make the same exchange for Thanksgiving this year. It doesn't seem like much, but we are about 200 miles closer to where Dirk is with our move, so I am happy to make the trip so Donovan can see his dad.
So I hope this is enough update for now, I am trying to mentally work into my routine posting regularly about things other than updates on my status. So fingers crossed, I hope to start doing that soon.

Have a wonderful long weekend!!

On the road again...after many years

2008-09-09T10:02:00.002-06:00

So, we are moving to Oklahoma.
In about 16/17 days, we will pack up all of our belongings and leave Colorado behind, in residence only.
My family and my roots are still here, so I anticipate that at a minimum, the kids and I will be visiting good Ole Colorado quite often. I am excited to live close to my in laws, such great folks, but it will be hard to move away from my family. The last time I did this, I was only 19, single and no kids. So it was a little easier, and even then, there was no set time frame for which I was going to be away.
There are many positives that go along with this move, but there are drawbacks too.
For one, Chris filed a motion to relocate his children with us. The days are ticking away in which his ex wife can file a disagreement to the motion, if she does not, then the courts are supposed to set a hearing date in which we will all go in and find out the outcome.
Personally, I am not a grudge holder, but since Chris has gone ahead to start his job in OK already, Lisa, his ex wife refuses to let Connor come over to our house to even visit. OUCH!!!
Connor has a very close relationship with Owen, and even Donovan and I feel that her refusal to let him visit us
(read that, not even come over to say HI) is doing irreparable damage to Connor's emotional well being. Not only has his dad already moved, but when we asked him if he wanted to go with us, he said he did want to go, but he didn't want to leave, and we would never make him make such a difficult choice. So now his dad has moved and he can't see the rest of us with which he has such a close relationship. The poor kid, I can't imagine what is going through his head. I go to the boys school twice a week just to make sure he knows how much we all love him.
As far as Katie goes, with her drastic behavior changes in the past year, I hope the courts recognize that a change of residence and venue might be just the thing she needs. She has been hurting herself and I suspect she does it for attention( I saw the marks over Christmas and she begged me to not tell anyone, I did tell Chris, but with the way things are, there was not a whole lot he could do at the time), she failed about 3 of her classes at the gifted school she tried so hard to get accepted in to and now she has to go to a regular school--that's a lot for a 13 year old girl to deal with, but all of it happened during the time her mother allowed her to refuse parenting time with Chris. She still has a relationship with him but it's not nearly as good as is could be or should be if Lisa even acted a little like she supports both Katie and Connor having a relationship with their dad and his family. The fact that she flat out told me " You do not get visitation" tells me that she does not recognize or support the extended relationships that her children have with me, Donovan, Owen and my family.
I personally think that her refusal to accept that Chris is gone and has a family, that Connor for one loves, and if given a chance, Katie would too, makes this situation so much harder on everyone involved.
If I pray for anything, it's that the courts really examine the relationship Chris has tried to build with his kids and the obstacles the Lisa places in front of him to only make that harder. I hope they grant him the relocation so that they can come with us and get a fresh start. Neither Chris or I thinks that Lisa is a bad parent, or insufficient in some way, but the children have not really been given the full opportunity to build a healthy relationship with their father or I and that would be so great if they could.
I know that my parents will miss having the grand kids near by, and the possibility of not being 'present' when #5 gets here, but they will come visit us and we will see them regularly, my sister too, so I think our relationships will only get better, if that's possible.
Seeing as how Chris has already made the initial move down there, that leaves me here with 2/4 kids, 4 months pregnant ( which by the way is going splendidly.. I have only gained 5 lbs so far!!)and about 85% of the packing...We will be renting a truck and flying up one of Chris' cousins to help us load > we had considered a moving company but after getting estimates that ranged from $4000-$10000, we decided that we could do it on our own for much less cost.
Donovan happens to have a football game the day we move, so who knows, maybe the men load us up while the ladies all go watch the game. Who knows how it will work out, I just know it will.

My apologies for the long draws of breath between posts, I never know just how busy my life will be. I know it will be busy, but to what extent is the mystery.

If I manage to post once more before the move, SUPER!!!-- if not, my next post will be from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, the new home of the Mallow family.

Thanks for checking in.

The beginning of an unknown era

2008-08-16T17:44:00.004-06:00

So, as of Friday, Chris has no job. His government contract job was rolled off and that resulted in his employment ending. He has had quite a few leads, and contacts and a few interviews, but as of today, no job to go to Monday.
We heard word of this back in July, so we knew it was coming, but doesn't make it any easier to swallow.
I do some part time work, but not enough to bring in anywhere close to what Chris brings in in income, not to mention the insurance factor, seeing as how I am nearly 4 months pregnant.
We have faced a lot of adversity in our lives, quite a bit in just the 4 years we have been together, and our faith always sees us through. Together, we ARE unstoppable.
I have no doubt that a job will present itself very soon and Chris will not have many days with which to sit around the house.
He has applied for a few jobs out in Oklahoma, and it has been no secret that we may very well move to Oklahoma before this is all over. The economy down there will give better to us and there to seems to be a harder market for his type of work, Denver still has a pretty soft market in that respect.
Chris has made a list of the things he wants to get done while he has some time to do so, but I have a feeling he will be interviewing quite a bit and working before too long.
If he finds something here, we will plan our move for sometime next year, perhaps when the kids are out for summer break, if, however he finds something in Oklahoma, or move will be even sooner.
He is making plans to file a motion to relocate Connor with us, for the plethora of benefits that he will get being so close to more family and being around his dad full time. He will still have ample opportunity to see his mom , as her parents and one of her sisters still live there.
Katie has not lived with us since January of 2007, and she prefers to live with her mom full time, and Chris doesn't want to force her into a situation where she will resent being made to do something she really doesn't want to do. Chris and Katie still e mail, talk on the phone and see each other ever so often, so they still have a relationship and thats what matters.
In other news, the pregnancy is still going, I swear this one is by far the most unusual of all 3 of my pregnancies. I have not craved junk food like I did with Owen, in fact I have craved some of the most healthy foods ever since about 2 weeks ago. I still have not gained much weight, which in itself is not bad, per se. However I am 15 weeks and have barely gained 2 lbs. By this time with both Donovan and Owen, I had gained a good 15-20 lbs. I keep telling myself that it's due to the fact that I started this time at my heaviest and that is the reason, the weight gain will come, I have no doubt.
Last week I swore I felt #5 wiggling around in there, but this week it has not been as active, I am sure its nothing to worry about, but as a mom, you can't help it. Chris assures me that it's all good and everything is fine. Sometimes, I have to remind myself just how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband...I really would not have made it these past few years without him.

Owen is walking full time now, he may crawl oh, about 2% of the time, but from the minute he wakes to the minute he sleeps, he is on the move. He is into everything, and as curious as toddlers get, and we love it. His personality is really starting to shine, he knows what will get a laugh, and of course, he knows the art of throwing tantrums, he is well versed in that area.

Donovan started tackle football last week, and this coming week he starts contact practices, with full gear. He is going to test for his orange belt in Karate soon. We have talked with both his coach and his Sensei about his attitude at home, primarily to me, in the last months or so, he has really has some issues, but with work at home and the Dojo and football, he is really starting to straighten out.

Connor and Donovan recently went out to Kansas City, MO for a family reunion with my sister and parents. Chris and I stayed home, we don't need to be spending any extra money now, until that job does come. They had a great time, it was the first time that Connor had spent the weekend without Chris and me during our parenting time. The night they got back, I told him the "plan" to get him back to his mom's the next morning, and he just said to me" I am going to miss you guys!!!", boy did that make me feel great!!
He has also been saying things like "When we move to Oklahoma", instead of "If we move to Oklahoma", which tells us he will be ready when the time comes.

They both start school Tuesday, Donovan has the same teacher for 3rd grade that Connor had, and I am not sure yet who Connor has, but both 4th grade teachers are great, so he will be in good hands.

All three boys have really done a lot of growing up over the summer and Chris and I are so proud of them, looking at the adversity they themselves have had to face.

I have no doubt they will grow into fine, well adjusted young men in no time.

I promised a photo a while back, and I am sharing the most recent family shot that I have, it was taken at my dad's 60th birthday Celebration.

I hope to be back sooner rather than later.
until the next time....

Sing, Sing a song...

2008-07-22T16:23:00.006-06:00

So I know I promised a photo post, but last night as I was falling asleep, I was giving some thought to the rash of new children's music coming out lately...so I decided a post about that was in order.

A few years ago, the band They Might be Giants, made a kids album that was geared to parents and kids called "NO!", what a great album, in fact it is where I found a track called "In the Middle, In The Middle, In The Middle", which is a song I found years ago, on a soundtrack of television commerical songs, like the Armour hot dog song. You know,
"Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs
What kinds of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs?
Big kids, little kids, kids who climb on rocks
fat kids, skinny kids, even kids with chicken pox
love hot dogs, Armour Dot Dogs
The dogs kids love to bite! "

Anyway, the song was a public service song from New York City about crossing the street. A catchy little tune, that to those who don't appreciate the finer points of children's music in general, could be misconstrued as annoying.

Recently, Bare Naked Ladies, and Lisa Loeb have made their own children's albums.
And there are other "adult alternative" artists, or bands, such as Cake, Sarah MacLachlan, Darius Rucker from Hootie and the Blowfish, who have contributed to collaborations, like "For the Kids" and "For the Kids II"

I am particularly fond of the Cake cover of Mahna Mahna and Sarah MachLachlan's covers of Rainbow Connection. One of my favorite songs. In fact, my husband's father sang it at our wedding...in the rain!! Ahhh happy times!!

I think what I like best about this rash of new children's music is that I can share my love of music and the bands I really love, with my own children.

In fact, Donovan and I have a favorite song from BNL( Bare Naked Ladies) is a track called
"Raisins"...
I think the key to good writing and recording children's music, is that it catches the child's attention and doesn't talk down to kids. It has to be about subjects they can relate to, but yet be fun and it does not necessarily have to make sense.
For example, check out some of the the lyrics to "Raisins":

Raisins come from grapes,
People come from apes,
I come from Canada.

I came in first place,
In a non-existent race,
To rebuild the Parthenon.

The Parthenon’s in Greece,
Or was it in Grease 2?
I can’t keep my movies straight.

When I make mistakes,
I use a lot of salt,
Salt makes mistakes taste great.

I don’t want to be a bother, but I think the phone’s for you......

I think it is easy for these artists to appeal to the younger set since its easy to write songs that are fun, yet make no sense. They have been doing that for years, only trying to appeal to adults.
as demonstrated in these lyrics, from One Week, a number one song for BNL in the early 90's:

Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish, although I like the chalet swiss
I like the sushi cause its never touched a frying pan
Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes
Big like Leann Rhimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempferts got the mad hits
You try to match wits
You try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Gotta see the show, cause then you'll know
The vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause it's so dangerous, you'll have to sign a waiver

As you can see, it wasn't hard to switch gears for them when it came to kids music, they did not stray far from what they knew.

I suggest that you go to check them out. I have Rhapsody and I know you can hear all of the songs I have listed here on their site. It's definitely worth a listen!!

Anyway, I am glad to be able to share these artists with my kids, it gives us something in common to enjoy.
I only wish there were more artists that would try to bridge the generation gap through music. Can you imagine the Beatles, or Janis Joplin making kid's music? I wonder what kind of people we would be if we and our parents bonded over THAT music!!!

It's a trend I would follow happily.

Until the next time,

YYYAAAAAWWWWNNNNN......

2008-07-07T16:53:00.002-06:00

Boy, I could sleep all day. Seriously. I got tired around 7 pm every night for about 3 weeks when I got pregnant with Donovan. I felt some fatigue, though not extreme with Owen. OH MY GOSH, this time I am tired all the time. At first I couldn't stay awake during the day, without help, and then I was restless at night. Now I am tired all the time. I mean if I stay active, like get up and move around, then I am okay. But if I sit down to read, or even watch TV, I get drowsy.
I did find out that the thyroid issue I was having after my pregnancy with Owen never really resolved itself. I told my OB about the issue and she had the labs I had done test my thyroid levels. Sure enough, I get a call from the Dr last week, I need to be put on synthetic thyroid medicine since mine are too low. I swear I take more medicine during pregnancy than I do any other time. Did I mention that the prenatal vitamins I take now need to be supplemented with DHA?
I think part of me is going to be relived that this is the last time I will ever be pregnant. Each time it takes a larger toll on me physically. Don't get me wrong, I love being pregnant, but making a baby is hard work!!
Anyway, I just wanted to check in and get this off my chest. I hope that the fatigue either resolves itself over time as it has done in the past, or if the fatigue is a result of the thyroid issues, I hope the medicine does its job sooner rather than later.

Next time will be a photo post. See you then!!

2008-06-29T10:26:00.002-06:00

So when I found out I was expecting this time, I swore to Chris that I would not read into, or invest in symptoms that were different from my last two pregnancies.
I don't want to get it in my head that I am having a girl and then be surprised to find out we have another boy!! I am being honest when I say that I will be elated either way, but still part of me wishes for a girl..so I am fighting the urge to read into these differences in this pregnancy from the previous ones.
I feel great, I had maybe a week of morning sickness, well it was more like all day sickness, but that's not been present for a few days now. I am having some odd sleep issues, I have never really had trouble sleeping, but now, I would rather sleep all day, and stay awake all night.. hard to adjust to, let me tell you what.
I have no other physical symptoms, the boobie fairy came and visited with Owen, but not this time. And aside from the fact that I am due February 9th, which puts me at roughly 8 weeks, I am already wearing maternity clothes, since NOTHING else fits..well unless it is equipped with an elastic waistband. I look MUCH more pregnant that I really am!

I am getting more and more excited, I have many plans for this pregnancy , such as staying more active, really paying attention to my body, and taking care of myself. I talked with Chris last night about my tentative birth plan. I hope to go all natural this time, as I had planned to do with Owen, but they augmented my labor with Pitocin, and that really intensifies contractions. So my plan is to go natural, no pain relief unless they have to give me Pitocin. If they do, I will for sure have an epidural, as I would rather be able to focus on the birth, not the pain.
But as all good plans go, this is just a plan, and when it comes time, we will go whichever way we need to.
I have a picture from the ultrasound I had on Friday, but to be honest, the picture is not great quality, I will post it here later.
The good news is there is only one baby, not twins!! And everything looks great!!
I will continue to post regular updates.
Until the next time,

Somewhere in the Black Mining Hills Of Dakota, there lived a young boy named Rocky Racoon...ya

2008-06-17T16:36:00.007-06:00

Chris, Donovan , Owen and I got back Sunday from a quick trip to South Dakota. WOW,
From the drive up, only 6 hours from metro Denver, to the quaint, mini cabin, (it was SMALL), to the visiting of Mt Rushmore... we had a fabulous time.
Connor was supposed to go with us, but that's another story I won't get into here for reasons I don't wish to discuss either, but over all, we had a a super mini vacation. I think that for the first time in months, Chris may have actually had normal blood pressure. Where we stayed was in the setting right from a Louis L'Amour novel, and the towns surrounding us were small and had the tenacity to close down at 9 p.m!!!
I was a but flustered by that, I guess living in suburbia, I am spoiled be late night drive thrus and 24 hour groceries.

Here are a few pictures, I took over 100, so I only posted a few, but I hope you enjoy them. Next time, I am definitely bringing a blanket.

Big News!!

2008-06-09T07:04:00.003-06:00

Well, after several months of trying, we have finally succeeded in our efforts to have one more baby!! Yep, I am pregnant!!!
This is how we told most of the world:

We are telling the rest of the world now, well the Internet, or whoever reads this blog...
This will be #5 overall for Chris and I, his 4th, my 3rd, and after this one, we are officially done with making babies.
After much consideration, we realized I am not getting any younger, after all I am 35 now, and very near the high risk line, and Owen has older siblings, who by the time he is in school will have lives of their own and it's quite possible that they will not have a lot of time for their little brother, so now Owen and #5 will be close together in age and won't have to go it alone.
Owen will be nearly 2 years old when #5 comes along, and I know from personal experience, that 2 years is not a bad spread for age in siblings, my sister is just over 2 years older than me and one of my closest and dearest friends!!!
I am excited, yet it has not really sunk in yet, I don't feel pregnant. Maybe its the lack of symptoms, no weight gain, no morning sickness, as I had with my last two pregnancies, I am not more tired, nor hungry than usual, but I have not 1 but 2 tests that prove that I am indeed with child.
We have already decided to keep the gender of this one a surprise for all until the day it's born, but we are naming it after my side of the family. I really want to honor my mother and father by naming one of my children after their families, since there are many members I have never met, only heard about, yet I love and respect so much, I felt it was fitting to carry on their legacies in name.
We are compiling a list and will name the child after it's birth. So until then, I will refer to it affectionately, #5.
I will of course post pictures of my growth, and the ultrasound pic from my first visit at the end of the month.
Thanks for checking in...

Sigh, where does the time go?

2008-06-04T07:29:00.002-06:00

Hi, yes, here it is, many many days have passed since my last post. All I have to say is that I have been really enjoying life.
Owen is growing by leaps and bounds, Donovan is maturing in ways I never imagined, thats such a good thing. There have been times that I have doubted my abilities as a mom to him, but then he does these little things once in a while that just prove that I have done right by him. Yeah for mommies.
Connor spends every other week with us, and it seems there is more pull for him to be with us more.
Summer is here and we have many plans.
Next weekend, to celebrate many events, we are heading north to South Dakota for visit the Black Hills, the Badlands, and Mount Rushmore.
We will be celebrating Father's day, and all the boys birthdays.

Donovan goes out the spend 3 weeks with his dad here in a few weeks, as much as I am going to miss him, I am excited that he gets to have so much time with his dad, he sure does love his dad. After all these years, he still calls Donovan at least once a day, sometimes twice to say Hi.

We are taking the family to Oklahoma for 2 weeks, later on,for a MUCH needed, and long overdue vacation. This one even Katie is coming along. It will be so nice to get away.

In the meantime, we fill our days with the regular summer stuff, splashing in the pool, running through the sprinkler, riding our bikes, sleeping in, all that fun stuff summer vacations are filled with.

Owen came down with a bad virus over the weekend, so we are out of work for the week, don't want to expose the other kiddos to this nasty virus.
So we are just taking care of him this week while he recovers.
I would love to say that I will be posting more, but it's hard to say when I will have the time, or material to post, so until I come back, take care and have a fun summer.

TM WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?

2008-04-24T21:41:00.002-06:00

So, I have been posting in my head for weeks, but have to manage my time such that the clothes MUST get washed, and the dishes MUST come clean...so blogging must wait.
Good thing I have a real job ( read Dooce) to bring in money for the family.

Anyway, today's segment is about my journey into the world of Orofacial pain.
A few years ago, after polishing off an entire bag of Twizzlers, my jaw started to ache tremendously.
Fortunately, the pain subsides and I went on with my life. However not so long after, I noticed that after I ate anything that had the slightest bit of substance, I was again riddled with the pain in the right side of my face, followed by a nagging headache that could last up to 4 days.
Well, here it is 2008 and I finally have answers!!
I knew, from reading, (isn't reading great??) that what was ailing me was TMJ, only it's not called TMJ, it is correctly referred to as TMD, or TMJD.
And what is that you ask?
It's a major malfunction of the jaw joint that allows you to chew.
So I went to the Dr, who referred me to my dentist, who referred my to an orthodontist.
So I go to the orthodontist, and yep, sure enough, that's what I have, and we can fit you for a Splint, it will help you bite down in a DIFFERENT way, so as to not use the muscles that make your whole face hurt when you want to enjoy a bagel.
FUN!!
So I go through the whole consult, and after heeding the Orthodontists advice, I decide to proceed with Braces, this will not only help( as he told me,) but re align my jaw and correct the TMD.
OK, when can I get them?
Well, they tell me, your insurance only covers 50%, so the remaining balance, or something like $2400 is your responsibility, so you have options, $850 today, and $150 a month for something like 10 months or something OUTRAGEOUS like that...uh, stammering, uh...hubbawha!??
OK, well let me discuss this with my husband, and I will work something out.
What did I work out? NO FREAKING way..If I had an extra $850 socked away somewhere, you can sure as heck bet I will pay off something else first. WHAT DO WE HAVE DENTAL INSURANCE FOR anyway!!!

I called around to find another orthodontist to obtain a 'second opinion' and this one, told me not to waste my money, there is NO CURE FOR TMD, you have had it for 30 plus years and it's to far gone...
WOW, thanks for you CANDOR Dr.!!!
UH, what do I do now? Just stick to a liquid diet, no gum? I came home and thankfully found a site dedicated to those of us blessed enough to have been given Orofacial Pain Problems
YOU DOWN WITH OPP?? YEAH< YOU KNOW ME!!!
and found a specialist close to home that I can see for treatment, because yes there is no cure, but there are treatment options!!
So the next step in my journey is to see this Wonderful Dental God, and see if there is in fact, life after OPP.
Until the next update...

Owen slideshow

2008-04-01T19:03:00.000-06:00

Owen is One!! I can't fathom how fast this year has flown by. He is Such an amazing boy. So smart and charming, I mean really charming. He is cuddly, and loving and funny, someday, many many years from now, he will make some lady very happy with his presence in her life. Just like his dad does in mine.
Happy Birthday My Son Owen, you are a blessing to me and I think God for you EVERY DAY!!Love,
Mommy.

Okay, now I've seen...

2008-02-06T16:22:00.001-07:00

Okay, now I've seen it all. I saw a license plate today that says Italian-American. Oh boy, here we go. I think I want one that says "HEINZ 57" American. listen

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Sigh, Obladi Oblada

2008-02-02T20:50:00.000-07:00

...here we are Feb 2008, where does the time go? Life does go on, with or without me.

Owen is 10 months old already. He crawls everywhere, can stand with help and eats nearly everything we give him, as long as it's off our plate and not baby food. With only 8 front teeth, he does a great job of chewing!!
He started sleeping through the night last week, and I have gotten a string of nights where I got 6 or more hours of sleep IN A ROW!!I feel seriously energized.

He is still breastfeeding, but I have cut him back to about 3-4 times a day. He sure loves the milkbar. I MAKE MILK!! What's your superpower!!??

Donovan will be 8 next month, his birthday seems to always fall during Spring Break.. when he gets older, I am sure he will be grateful for that. but for now, he is bummed to not have a school day in which to celebrate his special day with his school friends.

Connor is showing signs that he likes it at our house a lot.. that's not to say he doesn't like life at his mom's but the environment over there is so completely different than it is our house. He gets a lot of male bonding and I think he is getting to the age where he really needs that male exposure.

They are both doing well in school, which considering that they are both children from divorce in blended families, they are really presenting as well adjusted.

Chris maintains a steady flow of stress.. some good, some bad. He continues to teach part time, work full time, and serves on the BOD at the boys school.
We are getting rid of the FJ cruiser, since ( by no fault of Chris's) it's just too much for us right now. So we went this weekend to get him a reliable car until we can afford him something a bit....newer and nicer. Until then, he has a stylish 77 Dodge Ramcharger to get around town in.
It suits him well, you look great in it baby!!!

I am still having thyroid issues, at one point I was losing weight, cold all the time, losing hair, and not sleeping well. Then it went the other way, I gained weight, was hot all the time, and wanted to sleep. Its evening out for now, but I still see an endocrinologist to monitor it. They said it was postpartum thyroiditis, and usually takes care of itself, thank goodness..it might make it hard.. wait, you don't know this yet...
...Chris and I have decided to try to add to the family again. After much consideration of course.
Owen will be starting Kindergarten in 2012, Connor will be in 8th grade, and Donovan will be starting 7th. Donovan was much the only child, and we think it will benefit Owen to have a sibling a little closer to his own age.

I am putting some pictures up here, from our recent visit to Oklahoma. Chris's grandfather, for which Owen's name comes from, is ill. He is 84 and may have bone cancer. We wanted the children to see him while he was still healthy, so that they would have good memories of him in case we would not be able to get down there again until this summer. It was good to see everyone, and catch up, His grandma and grandpa celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary,, 65???!!! fantastic!! I will be 99 if Chris and I make it that long.. if my mood swings don't put him in the grave before 50.

For now, I think that's it.

I will be back soon.

The new man in my life

2008-01-05T11:35:00.000-07:00

The last few months have seen some old things leave my life, as well as bringing in some new ones.
I have given up some of the old grudges I have been holding onto for years..that's always a good thing.
One of the new things in my life is Stewie Griffin.
I am shocked to admit this for a few reasons. Chris has always been a fan of the Simpsons, and Futurama, both cartoons that I have expressed my distaste in letting the kids watch, and myself for that matter. I have never really 'caught" on to the humor. However, I was once, and still am a fan of South Park.. I guess it's a matter of vulgarity and raunchiness. The Simpsons and Futurama, may just be too mild for me.
I can't figure it out. I am a mild mannered gal, more so now, after being married and kids, but somewhere under all of that, still lies the person I was years ago, the gal who likes dirty jokes, foul language and crude humor. All in moderation, of course. I still go to church, believe in God and Jesus, so I can't explain my attraction to this type of humor. Perhaps it's the sinner in me.
Please Forgive me...

On that note, the reason I even posted about this was this.
I found a site called Stewie Live. Check it out here. The first thing I typed in for him to do was fart, and he did so on command, and did not fail to satisfy my ..shall we say need for a good laugh?

If you didn't laugh, that's ok, Stewie is not for everyone.

But thanks for reading.

A long hiatus

2007-12-30T19:34:00.000-07:00

It dawned on me the other day, that I have not posted in months!!

I guess I have some catching up to do.

My life got kind of crazy right after Thanksgiving, as I was offered a position as Assistant Manager of the Santa Set at the mall, where I was working last year. So in addition to the three days a week I work for a close friend of mine, I was working four days at the mall.
So in essence, I was holding one full time job, and two part time jobs..what the heck was I thinking???
I managed to get through it okay..albeit tired..I am done!!

Christmas was wonderful, although, I missed Donovan terribly. This was his Dad's year to have him over Christmas, so he was not with us, but Katie and Connor were here, as well as my sister and my parents, so it was almost perfect.

We have no plans for the new year...other than to bring it in with the boys. To me with all the craziness in our lives, having a low key celebration will be fine with me.

Owen has been ill the past few days, I take him to the pediatrician tomorrow, the on call nurse thinks he might have an ear infection..I hope it's not more serious. He had croup two months ago, and that too nearly 4 weeks to heal. If this is the "less sick" a breast fed baby gets, I would hate to see how sick he would be otherwise.

I took a spill down the steps in our house right after thanksgiving, luckily, I did not die, or break anything. I did however suffer from a grade I AC joint separation in my shoulder. More than anything, I was embarrassed and I for one am glad to put such a clumsy mistake behind me.

Chris has still been managing to stay very busy...still serving on the BOD for the boys school, working toward his masters at DU and of course still working full time for the Federal Gov't as a contractor.
I think once the New Year rolls in, we will be happy to have things somewhat back to normal.

Owen is continuing to grow .. he is a fan of the combat crawl.. once on his tummy, he is all over the house. He was showered with gifts for Christmas, so he has plenty to keep him busy. He is such a joy to have around.. and he is so loved by the whole family.

I hope that with the new year and the new calm, I will be able to post more often.. I will do what I can to have regular pictures, perhaps even some video.
I hope anyone who reads this has a wonderful New Year that is truly filled with wonders and joy.

A new family member, and Owen can eat his toes!!

2007-10-25T16:29:00.000-06:00

HI!!!
It has been a while, but here I am again to let you know that we got a kitten 2 weeks ago, Tinkerbell..

She is a real firecracker she is...nothing like having 2 babies in the house!!

I got Owen his halloween costume. I had planned on him being a monkey, since that is my primary nickname for him, but when I was at BRU, (Babies R Us for those of you not aware) I found this:

And last but not least, I just happened to have the camera in Owens room after his bath, and caught him in the act of eating the toes!!!

Reliving my childhood through my children

2007-10-09T20:37:00.001-06:00

When I was young, I enjoyed watching TV, both regular and public television. Primarily Sesame Street and The Electric Company. I also enjoyed the many talents of Jim Henson and all those who do puppets. As well as those who provide what I still believe to be the highest quality TV of our generation.

Chris and I both have fond memories of these programs. We have shared them now with our kids and it means so much to share part of my past with my kids, who are my future.

I wanted to post a few of my favorites, and mention that Donovan loves the "LY song", and got all excited for me when "Letterman" came on, since he knows that is one of my favorites.

I am so glad to share my childhood with my kids this way. And now I want to share just a few of my favorites from the wide array of bits with you.

Enjoy:

The LY song

Mahnahmahnah!

Silent E

Letterman

The Typewriter Guy( nooneenooneenoo)

The Rhyming Song

The Ladybug Picnic

The Pinball Song

The Yip Yips

half a year, or 26 weeks, or 6 mos..depends on how you look at it

2007-10-05T09:01:00.000-06:00

Owen is half way to his first birthday...and two teeth already have shown themselves in his mouth.

I have been terribly busy lately and wanted to at least post the new and exciting news about Owen..
I will try to update you all soon..in the meantime,
here is a recent picture of the amazing child himself.

35?????

2007-09-26T16:20:00.001-06:00

Today is my 35th birthday.
I woke up early and spent some quiet time with Owen.
When I woke up my 7 year old Donovan, he sang me Happy Birthday that was great!!
Then Chris came down and gave me a nice Happy Birthday Good Morning.
I went to the boys school and had lunch with them, that was fun, but all in all until about 10 minutes ago, I was feeling a little blah about being older, especially 35.. but thanks to my wonderful, amazing and incredible husband, I feel at peace with it, today is a cool day....here is his blog post from today..he says it so much better than I do.

Here is to being born on this day!!!

Things that pop into my head in the wee hours of morning.....

2007-08-17T08:23:00.000-06:00

It's odd, isn't it the things that one thinks of at all hours of the night?

The other night, for some reason, movie scenes that made me laugh so hard I almost wet myself came to mind...try going back to sleep when that happens.

Did you ever see Bachelor Party? You recall that scene where the couple who had been trying to have a romantic evening alone in their hotel room,were faced with the bare butt of Tom Hanks competition, Cole, right after the man says " I hear it's a full moon tonight!" only to have the same hairy a** plummet into the sun roof of their car while they were trying to kiss.

One other scene, that evokes side splitting laughter from me is the famous scene starring Evan Baxter from Bruce Almighty....here is the text:
Announcer: Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six, with Susan Ortega, Evan Baxter, Fred Donahue Sports, Dallas Coleman Weather. And now, Buffalo's Number One News Team.
Susan Ortega: Good Evening and welcome to Eyewitness News at Six. I'm Susan Ortega.
Evan Baxter: And I'm Evan Baxter and here's what's making news. A potential scandal with the Buffalo P.D. surfaced today when the mayor d-bow debit
[choked off]
Evan Baxter: [high pitched] D-bow d-bit d-bow
[unintelligible chicken squawking]
Evan Baxter: Bucka-bow, dee buck.
Director: Someone get him some water please.
Susan Ortega: Looks like my new co-anchor may need a glass of water.
Evan Baxter: [clears throat] Oh, there we go. Sorry about that. In other news the Prime Minister of Sweden visited Washington today and my tiny little nipples went to France.
Director: What'd he just say? Check the prompter.
Technician: The prompter's fine.
Director: Evan, READ THE COPY. Please. The copy's good. Just read it.
Evan Baxter: The White House reception committee greeted the Prime Ribroast Minister and... I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl. I lik-a do da cha-cha. I'm sorry we seem to be having some technical difficulties. In other news
[breaks wind] a.k.a HUGE FART!!!!
Evan Baxter: Ohhhh. My apologies. Bulla blah, bulla blabity bulla bla
[rapid unitelligible gibberish]
Evan Baxter: Blabity blab bulla blah
[explosive gibberish]
Evan Baxter: [continues for 35 seconds]
[vaguely Chinese]
Evan Baxter: Kaa kaa poo poo. PEE PEE
[nervous laugh]
...if you have not seen this movie, GO NOW AND SEE IT, I INSIST.

Another one of my favorites is the car scene from throw Momma from the train.
Owen, (Danny Devito) says to Larry, (Billy Crystal), while the car is racing down a hill, no brakes through the bushes "This is good. It's like the Flintstones car wash. "
Besides the way "Momma" screams OOOOOWWWWEEEEENNNNN throughout the movie, the car scene, for some reason makes me laugh so hard, I cry.

Maybe this is the way my mind helps me calm down, when I am thinking about funny stuff, I can't be bothered by anything else!!

In other news....

2007-07-26T15:51:00.000-06:00

I feel like I have only been using my blog to update everyone on what's going on.. I guess that's fine, but even then, there is so much I leave out.
At times I feel like I live a rather mundane existence, but when I think about it, I really don't.

We traded in the PT Cruiser I bought in Jan 2006 and Chris' Land Rover (stripes removed) for a brand new, bright blue FJ Cruiser.
Chris loves it, one of the reasons ( there are many) is it's a stick shift.
He tells me everyday, with a big silly grin on his face, how much he loves his car. I am happy that he does, we really wanted to save some money by trading in two cars and going home with one, but since Chris's ex wife and he still share the mortgage for the house she still lives in, our payments are a bit more than they would be normally.
But, that's okay, we are finally down to a two car family again.
The big trick now is to fit them both in the garage.
Here is a picture of the new car.Chris hasn't nicknamed it yet, but I am sure a name is not too far off in the future.
Chris and I made the trip to the bookstore and bought the final installment of the Harry Potter series, we raced each other this week to finish it, I came in a close second, finishing it yesterday afternoon. I won't give it away, but it was worth the wait. I only wish there were more to follow.

Let's see, what else is going on, oh yeah...Donovan has been in Illinois with his dad for almost 2 weeks. His dad, my ex husband, got remarried. She seems nice, I met her briefly when they came to pick up him for vacation. I really wanted to warn her, but then again, no one warned me, and maybe what they have is so much more different than what he and I had. Lord knows its that way with me and Chris. I wish them all the best.
This is the longest he has ever been away from me since he was born, and I am doing okay.
Last night I was really missing him, but I know he will be home soon. I get to see him again Sunday. I can't wait, I bet he has grown at least 2 inches.

Chris and I took advantage of having only 1 of our 4 kids last weekend and went up to Blackhawk to do a bit of playing while my parents took care of Owen for us.
I did well-- I put $20 into a slot machine and walked away with$100!! Chris did not do as well, but we didn't leave too much down for the night.

Last week, I only had Owen here with me, and this week, it's just me Owen and Connor. I like being able to have some one on one time with Connor to get to know him better. He really is a different kid with out the others around. He has really grown closer to me, I get several hugs during the day and he and I can play and mess around, there is not tension like there was in the beginning. He has really become close to my heart. I wish Katie was around more and would give being here more of a chance, too. Maybe she would come around as well, but then again she is 12 now...I have to remember that. I was 12 once.
She has not been here since our family reunion over the weekend of the 14th. I am pleased that she at least came over, I was wondering if she would or not. She even made a friend from one of my cousins kids, Shaelynne, a girl only 1 year younger...that was very cool.

The boys go back to school in August, the week of the 22nd. Connor will be a 3rd grader and Donovan a 2nd grader!!
I go back to work then as well. I will only be working part time for a friend in Denver, but it will still be work.
Donovan starts flag football in August, and he has a piano recital on the 25th. I will be sure to get pictures or video if I can.

Owen will be 4 months old on the 1st. I can't get over how fast the time has gone. I can still remember being in labor with him. Then again it was for 2 weeks!!!
He is sitting up almost all by himself, he has great control of his hands and strong strong legs, and he is finally sleeping through the night about 3-4 times a week.
I will ask his Dr. about starting cereal in a few weeks. Not that he needs it, he is already in size 3 diapers...close to 17 lbs!!!He has successfully doubled his birth weight, I am sure.

I got interviewed to be on the Rachael Ray show, more details about that as the develop...my 15 minutes of fame perhaps??

I guess for now that's all I have. To those of you who read my blog, thanks for doing so.

Have a wonderful day!!!

...for those of you who are interested, here are some updated photos, one of Owen, one of the whole lot, and one of the three big kids in Lake Tenkiller in Oklahoma.

Adventures in marketing

2007-07-11T12:37:00.000-06:00

So, it is summer vacation.
We got back from Oklahoma a few days ago, and now the boys are looking for things to do during the day.
Today's adventure is a Kool-Aid stand....so off they went.
I helped them make the Kool-Aid, gave them the cookies and brownies I made yesterday to sell, helped them paint the signs and got them set up with a cash box outside in front of our mailbox.
A glass of Kool-Aid for $. 25 and Brownies or Cookies for $.10 each
Within one hour, they made $2.25. Not bad.
It gave them something to do and they sure had fun.
I think all in all they ate and drank most of the product, but since they made $1.05 in " Change" ( as in " Keep the change" ) they deserved it.
To think, these are my boys, I am so proud of them, they did a great job!!
Here is a photo of the stand.
Thanks for visiting.

My Day in Pictures...

2007-06-21T22:21:00.001-06:00

We played some catch with this ball......

Owen napped with his new buddy...

Donovan was bored, and therefore felt "blue"( I did get him to smile, though)

and I bought Chris the book he has been longing for...
( I have to admit, this book..The Dangerous Book for Boys is AWESOME!!)

My adorable kids

2007-06-05T09:14:00.000-06:00

Here are recent photos of my 4 kids..Katie is 12 now, Connor just turned 8, Donovan became 7
at the
end of March and of course the little one, Owen, was 2 months on Friday..
I am so blessed....

I baptize you in the name....

2007-05-31T16:29:00.000-06:00

Last weekend, we had Owen baptized.
My parents and Chris' parents were his sponsors. My father loves the fact that he can now be referred to as " The Godfather" For those of you who know my dad, you know what a laugh that is.
All of our other kids were there, which was nice, since it was not our weekend with Katie and Connor, but they were still able to come with us to church. My sister was there, too. Thanks goes out to her for the great pictures we got.

Owen has his 2 month check up tomorrow... which I am dreading since he will have shots.
I doubt any mother, no matter how many kids she has, likes to see her child get shots.

Here are a few pictures from the weekend.

This was also the first time my in laws were meeting Owen.
Grandma hardly put Owen down for a majority of the weekend. I heard no complaints from him.

I apologize for not posting more regularly, having 1 child full time, and having one more every other week is a full time job, but add a baby and , well, I do lots of overtime and its difficult to get on here and keep updates going. I do the best that I can.

Thanks for visiting....

Growing by leaps and bounds...

2007-05-21T21:58:00.000-06:00

Well, here we are, marking the 7th week, and Owen is growing sooo fast!!!
He is nearly 12 lbs already, and when I measured him this a.m., he was already 24 inches.
He loves the milk bar( Me ), and I can safely say he is a boob man..in the most innocent way.
He started smiling last week, and loves to do so just at the right times, especially at 3 a.m when I am sooo tired, but he is hungry...
He flashes that amazing toothless grin my way, and I don't care how tired I am....he melts my heart every time.
He is holding his head up all by himself, and we are trying more and more tummy time, though he is not a huge fan of it, he can't see as well on his tummy. He really likes to see his world.
He is so big he is already wearing 3-6 month clothing.
It's odd to me, since most of his clothes were Donovan's, to see him in them takes me back to the days that my first son was an infant, and I look at him now, just having turned 7 years old, and how much he has grown.
Chris and I are finally getting back to normal living, I can finally get some things done around the house.
That's great since my in laws are coming this weekend as we are having Owen baptised and both my parents and Chris's mom and dad will sponsor our son.
I am really excited.

The boys both absolutely love being big brothers..they do it equally well.
Katie comes over now and again to see him.
She celebrated her 12th birthday and she sure is growing as well, into a nice young lady.
I hope she starts to stay over at our house more soon.

I hope to have some pictures of Owen's big day, in the meantime, here are a few from the past few weeks.

He is finally here!

2007-04-19T16:24:00.000-06:00

Well, after a long long wait and an even longer labor, Owen made his debut on April 1 2007 at 7:03 p.m
He weighed in at 8 lbs 9 oz and was 20.5 inches long.
We were shopping at Wal Mart and my contractions picked up, even though I was skeptical to go to Labor and Delivery, we went and YAY, they said I was 2-3 cm and I could stay, we were really going to have a baby this time!!!
I went natural to 7 cm and then relented to having an epidural, the pain was very intense since they augmented my labor with Pitocin.
I labored all day and at 6:57 they had me start pushing, a mere 6 minutes later, and three rounds of pushes, there he was!!!

here are a few pictures for you to enjoy.. he is a really good baby, he loves to nurse and sleep..and of course, he does what all babies are good at, he poops a lot!!
He is gaining weight like crazy and is already over 9 lbs.
I hope to be here more to post pictures of all the kids..now that he is here and we are getting settled with life with baby.
Until the next time.....

He is now 7..

2007-03-30T16:58:00.000-06:00

Donovan, my amazing son...is now 7.

We held his Pirate Birthday Party here at our house Saturday. His dad ( my ex-husband) was here as was his Godfather, my ex husbands longtime friend and his second wife.
I think it was a success, surreal as it is to have my husband and ex husband in the same room, but I am glad that we have gotten to the point where we can co exist in peace this way.
I know that something like this would never happen with Chris and his ex wife. I doubt Chris will ever be included in her celebrations of their kids birthdays. I am glad we have our own celebrations for them, in this case, it is much easier and less stressful on all involved.

We have been celebrating Donovan's birthday all week, starting Saturday. He got a lot of money for his birthday, which by now has burnt a huge hole in his little pockets..So I took him today and he chose to buy a new game for our XBOX 360.. the new TMNT game.. he is so good already, and is so good at only playing 30 minutes at a time.. a true testament to his ability to learn discipline.

We have gone out to eat a few times. Once to California Pizza Kitchen, where Donovan can eat his weight in the chopped salad, and then top it off with a kids pepperoni pizza. Then we went to Great Scotts Eatery, a local diner-like place that he can have a 'breakfast' dinner, and a scoop of vanilla ice cream topped with crumbled Heath, and we have sung Happy Birthday about a dozen times.

He got a boatload of gifts, from Magic Rocks, to a Spiderman version of the game Operation, complete with a "Costume Wedgie"...hahahaha..

It has been a super week, Donovan was on Spring Break, and I know in my last post, I had mentioned that we would have a baby by now, but it didn't happen.
My Dr. advises against induction before 39 weeks, even though Owen was measuring around 7 lbs 11 ounces, more than healthy enough.. they said they could induce the 3rd...I decided against it, I am slowly making progress, 60% effaced and just close to 2 cm dilated as of Weds.. so Owen is coming, he just has his own timeline, and I will let him go until his real due date..contractions or not. And if he is not here by then, then we will help him along.

Until then, we are just dealing with my contractions, my PUPPP rash, and the waiting.

The best part of the whole week for both me and Donovan was having an abundance of one on one time with my son, to let him know that even though there is a baby on the way, I still love him more than anything, and he will always be my little boy.

Happy 7th Birthday Donovan!! I love you!!!

And to think, I wanted to go until April..

2007-03-19T16:37:00.000-06:00

Well, the past 5 days have been interesting to say the least.
Here I am at 35 weeks:

Last Weds, I was very productive, as in a very nesting kind of way productive.
I went to Babies 'R" Us and bought Owen a pack n play, and some other essentials.
Then I came home and for 2 hours I cleaned, I dusted, I vacuumed, and I organized.
Then I started having contractions.
At first they were BH, or Braxton Hicks-like, I have been having those for weeks. But then they started to get more intense, nearly painful. That's when Chris came home.
I was scared to tell him, admittedly,as I was in denial. I was not ready, it was too soon, and it was NOT happening. But I did tell him and at first he was not concerned, until he saw my discomfort.
He requested that I stop what I was doing, go potty, drink a large amount of water, and rest for 30 minutes. All the things you do to stop premature labor.. which as of last Weds, I was still only 36 weeks, not term, in other words, pre term, or early.
Well I did, and they did not stop, and since I was still in denial, we went ahead and went to the boys Cub Scout pack meeting. The whole time, I was having contractions, about every 6 minutes or so, and lasting about an minute each.
We came home, Chris promptly sent me to lie down again, and after an hour and 20 minutes, they were like clockwork, 6 minutes apart, 1 minute long..time to call the Dr.

They sent us to the Labor and Delivery floor of the hospital and checked me in. We had not packed for this, since we really still had 3 more weeks, so we took what we could there.
My parents came to take care of Donovan, my sister came, she is my 2nd support person, and we started to prepare for Owen's arrival..only the star of the show was not having any part of it.
Every time the nurse tried to check how far I was dilated, he would pull his little noggin out of the birth canal and refused to engage to help move things along.
RRGGGHH!!!! Can you say stubborn? I can see what I have to look forward to with this child.. the joy.
Anyway, I contracted the whole time, we walked around for an hour, they even got so close that they were now 2-3 minutes apart and only 45 seconds long..but yet still no progress.
I rested for 2 hours to see if that would work, nope..so they finally said, this isn't going anywhere...at least not until that baby drops down and helps.
So they gave me Ambien, sent be home and said one of two things would happen, 1) I would relax and he would drop and we would have a baby within 24 hours, or 2) I would relax and the contractions would stop.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Neither of those things happened, instead, I have been having the same contractions since Weds.. they are more intense when I stand or walk, but they still happen all night long, all day long, and still no baby.
I went to my Dr on Friday, and she added to the frustration by telling me that where I was on the time line was too far for stopping it, but too soon to help it along..so I was in pregnancy purgatory...it was agony, it is agony...I want to met him, I want to see him, hold him, and be done... NOW, I am ready..let's get this show on the road.
We go back to the Dr tomorrow, as of then, I will officially be 37 weeks, or full term and I am not leaving until they agree to induce me..I refuse to have contractions for 3 more weeks...consider it a Heidi Strike... but mark my words.. there will a new member of our family THIS week.. Mamma says so.
As of today, I have been in active Labor for 5 days in a row, I am dilated 1 cm, and ready as I will ever be to have this baby, now if he would only get on board!!

The next time I post...it will be to share the birth story, a whole week after it began.. stay tuned!!!

as promised..

2007-02-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

here is the most recent photo of
" The Belly "

I was roughly 29/30 weeks at that point, now I am 34 weeks and yes, a bit bigger...I am not sure, but I have a small suspicion that Owen has dropped some, though I don't have the sensation of having felt him drop or move lower. I do however, feel like I can breathe better. So this is why I suspect that he has begun his decent.
I am going to have my hubby take a picture tonight, and hopefully get it posted this week. I have had some swelling all over, so I am trying to rest when I can, so it doesn't leave much time for other things.
Until the next time...

Tick Tock Tick Tock

2007-02-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

Well, we are in the home stretch now.
I had to visit Labor and delivery Sunday night for about 3 hours, I somehow had the feeling that my water broke, but what actually happened, is that Owen head-butted my bladder and caused me to freak out.
I did find out that I have elevated high blood pressure, but I have faith that since I made it this far without complications, I doubt I will have many till the end.
I do feel huge. We have not taken as many pictures as I would like to, but I do have a recent one to post next week. Which will be wk 34.
After Sunday night, Chris and I realized just how unprepared we really are. We have nowhere for Owen to sleep yet, we have no carseat for him to ride in, and we really need to get on the ball. I started yesterday to get his room ready.
We registered, that's saying something, since we were not going to, but after looking at what I had gotten rid of from Donovans baby days, we found out there were a few things we needed to get.
7 years have passed since he was a baby and some of his things are too out of date to use for a new baby.
I am really starting to anticipate his arrival. More than anything, I want to hold this human being who has his feet lodged in my ribcage, and who makes me winded whenever I take a few steps. It will be nice to finally see the fruits of my labor, seriously.

In other news, Chris was granted 50% custody of Katie and Connor, legally, and even though Connor has adjusted well to the new schedule, Katie still struggles. She refuses to come to our home during Chris' parenting time, unless it is on her terms, which Chris doesn't allow her to do.
She holds me personally responsible for all the things that are wrong in her life. I half expected her too, and though it doesn't make it easier, it sure doesn't feel good to see her actions hurt Chris. She has not stayed at our house in over 2 months now. She still sees Chris for some daddy /daughter time once or twice a weekend, however, I hope she realizes what is at stake by acting out this way.
I hope that things get better for all of us soon, this takes a toll on us all.

Lets' hope that I don't post birth stats before April, and I have a chance for a few more pre-Owen posts before he makes his way to the outside.
Until the next time....

In memory of my Heroine, My Grandma.. I will miss you!! XOXOXOX

2007-01-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

Norma Lindholm
March 28, 1924 ~ January 14, 2007

Grandma,
Many of my earliest memories are of you.
From the many summers I spent time with you, to the card and board games you taught me, to playing in your house as I was growing up.
I remember you sharing stories from my dad growing up, hearing about how ornery he was, and some of the troubles he got into. Okay, the many troubles he got into. I mostly heard these when I was being scolded and you used my dad as an example to learn from.
Every time we left your house, you cried and waved at our car until we were out of your sight.
I learned cute and funny sayings from you that I won't soon forget and still say up until this day.
For instance, when we would all be in the car, and Dad would take a turn, you would lean on whoever was next to you and say "This one's on you"!
Or whenever a bug hit the windshield, you would say "That had to hurt!"

Just seeing you be the person you were, helped me to develop into the person I really wanted to be.
You had a generous heart, and always gave of yourself to make others smile; something I try to do regularly.
You rarely thought of yourself and went above and beyond to make others feel at home and this is a trait of yours I am elated to have inherited.
It didn't take more than a few minutes spent in the same room as you to feel your warm sprit. I could see, just by looking in your eyes, how much you loved life. In fact, I saw that same brightness in your eyes and face up until the last day I saw you.
You were and always will be an amazing Grandmother, and great Grandmother.

There never was a day I walked into your home and didn't smell your amazing cooking.
From homemade jams and jellies, to your delicious Fried Chicken with all the fixings, homegrown tomatoes, new potatoes, cucumbers and sweet corn, picked fresh that day from the garden in your backyard and who could forget your delicious macaroni and cheese?
You had a natural talent for making those comfort foods that would cure any ailment, from a true illness to those of the heart, like a crush gone bad, you even had food that comforted me from a big pimple on my chin. And I loved that there was never enough butter in your recipes.

I recall often your spry sense of humor that made anyone with you laugh. Sometimes it was subtle, other times it was very outspoken.
You showed it often with my mom and dad, you sure had some serious spunk. It is something that I can see made it's way down the line to your kids and grandkids and great grandkids.
You had an amazing strength; a will and spirit that could not be contained. It was this spirit that helped you thru the last few months of your life. In fact, I see your spirit in my son regularly, especially when he wants to get his way. Some would call it stubbornness; I call it "great-grandma's will".

In the face of adversity from your fall, the amount of pain you went through in the last few months you were trying to recover, and to every little ailment that tried to knock you down, you held on strong, and still tried to do your very best to keep a smile on your face. This is truly something that takes the strength only you had.
There is one fact about you, Grandma that is undeniable; you loved your family with every ounce of your being, without judgment and without reservation.
This is what made you special. What made you; YOU and what made us all love you.
You taught us, and for that, I am thankful.

I love you so much and will miss you even more,
Love,
your baby granddaughter,
Heidi Jo

pondering the new year....

2006-12-31T20:12:00.000-07:00

Chris, Donovan and I are in Oklahoma right now. We were able to leave early, and avoid the second snowstorm in a week, since Dirk never filed a new parenting plan, and Donovan did not go out to see him and his side of the family.
We are trying to relax.
Tomorrow, Chris and I will drive to Stroud, OK to pick up Katie and Connor to have them for the rest of the week. We sure are excited to see them.
We went to church today with Chris's parents, and there was a powerful sermon, that hit home both with me and Chris.
I am not sure how I feel about the coming of a new year. I am looking forward to having another baby, that is certain, but there is still so much uncertainty in my life.. it is hard to look too far in the future.
I have been dealing with emotions that run up and down in a very erratic pattern my whole life, and recently they became more than I could handle on my own.
I think that normally I can deal with all life gives me, but while being pregnant, it just became too much.
I am doing better now. I have just over 3 months left in my pregnancy and for the most part, life is good.
I worry about Chris though...he takes on so much and I see it wearing him out.
He really pushed to have me stay home and not work, and we thought we could make it. For the most part, we are, but we are still paying his ex wife a lot of child support, even though we have Katie and Connor 50% of the time. To make up the small difference in income, small but big enough to feel it...he still works full time, plus he is doing remote work for his dad, and he just finished his last term of teaching.
He doesn't want to burden me with his worries. but I am married to him, I know he struggles and I feel awful..I can't do anything to help him. He has such a generous heart that he tends to take on all the blame and responsibility for anything in his life. Particularly the negative things.
I recently took over our finances, the only thing I can do to help him lighten his load.
But now he doesn't sleep well and I worry about him.
The funny thing is that with all my stuff going on, he worries about me...I don't worry about me, I worry about him, and he doesn't worry about himself, he worries about me. This is one of the great things about our relationship...our concern for each other.
If I could ask for anything for the new year, I would ask that Chris's load becomes lighter. That Dirk works out what he needs to, so Donovan can go out and see him. and that I deliver a healthy baby boy on or around the date he is due.
I don't think there is much more I can ask for, well, yes, there is one thing..
My grandma....sigh..she has had so much going on since she fell in Sept.
My aunt and uncle are shutting out my dad for petty reasons, and in turn, they have shut out my grandma. It doesn't help her in getting any better when her kids are not getting along.

My dad has been there for her for everything since her fall. He has been with her at every Dr. appointment. He has visited her once a day, sometimes more, EVERY day except 2 days, since she first fell.
He was there for her two weeks ago when she had a risky Gall Bladder surgery.
She is just struggling so much to get better, and I don't know that she will ever come home.
She still can't walk, and has lost over 50 lbs since she fell.
I want her to get better, but I don't want her to suffer, or be in pain.
I love my grandmother so much...I shudder to imagine my life without her, but, I know that God has a plan for her...and I am doing the best I can to be patient..I just don't like to see her so ill. She is so strong, she has an amazing will and I know I can't have her forever, I just want the strength I need to be there for her in whatever capacity I need to be.
I hope that 2007 is a good year for you, and I will be back to post again, when we get back to Colorado.

Happy New Year!

...and I have so long to go still...

2006-12-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

Here is my growing belly at 24 weeks

...It amazes me, still, how much bigger I am this time around.. I have over three months to go and my belly seems to me to be huge.. and I get that from a lot of people around me too.
I joke that the next time someone tells me how huge I am, I will sock them in the nose.
Nothing like pointing out the obvious.
That and people who come over and touch me without asking if its okay. Like my belly is public domain.
I found a shirt online that says DO NOT TOUCH THE BELLY, but I can't fathom paying a pretty penny for a shirt that says what I should say to people on my own. I have no qualms about telling anyone to not touch my belly.
You don't see anyone rubbing the belly of overweight men..It makes no sense to me.

Owen is growing steadily, and is very active, we can see his kicks and punches visibly from outside the womb.. Which in and of itself is a miracle.

Other things in our lives are still plugging a long. I am working part time on the Santa set in the local mall, it's good for extra cash to spend on the family for Christmas. Not to mention it is a fun way to fill my time.

We had Chris's hearing on Dec 6th, but have yet to hear the final ruling...we hope to hear that before months end. We both feel good about it, as do his attorneys. So pray that the judge is as fair as we think she is and that things are finally going to settle down for all of us. The kids have really come around and much more willing to accept the fact that they have two homes now.

The kids are all out of school two days early since we just got buried in 2 feet of snow..so they are all out until January 9th. The total at our house was really about 28.5 inches, and this is what was visible of my car as of 1:00 a.m. Chris went out to shovel and only an hour later were we able to see the car and the driveway it sits in.

Chris and I are going to Oklahoma around the 1st of the month, and will pick up his kids out there, since they will be out there with Lisa as of Christmas day.
Donovan's dad wants him to come visit for Christmas, and I agreed to send him there, as long as he and I had a new parenting plan in place stating when Donovan was going out to see his dad, since he chose to move to Illinois in September.
There have been some complications...Dirk wants more time, I don't agree to more than 2-3 weeks a year until Donovan is a bit older, and no new arrangements have been filed. So Dirk's parents have purchased an airline ticket for a flight on this upcoming Saturday, but until we have a new plan in place, there will be no travel.
Given Dirk's history with reliability, I worry about Donovan's safety in returning back to Colorado, and I feel it would be safer for him, to have a court backed plan to ensure his safe return.
I guess we will see what happens, we have one more day in this week to hear from the attorney that Dirk's parents hired...
Other than that, Chris is done teaching again, and it is nice to have him home during the weeknights he was gone previously, though we will miss the extra money, time is sometimes much more valuable.
I wish you all a Happy Holiday, a blessed Christmas, and Prosperous 2007...Thanks for checking in.

Collect call from Bob Wehadababyitsaboy

2006-12-02T10:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right..we finally found out what our little bean is.. a healthy baby boy.
I have a picture from the ultrasound where we saw his 'goodies' but I will not post it here..I do have some tact. hahaha

He measures big..but so did my first son, so that's no surprise..it was amazing to see him move and smile and yawn and wave..
Chris and I have been toying with the idea of having one of those 3 d ultrasounds to REALLY see him, but then we thought, we already know what he is, why don't we wait to see what he looks like.. leave some surprise to the whole process.

I am considering ordering a bellycasting kit, and having the three other kids paint it, to commemorate the arrival.
Oh yeah, you are probably wondering, have we chosen a name? The answer is yes; his name was chosen long before we knew his gender..Owen Christopher Mallow

I just hope he waits till at least April 1 to make his debut...call me selfish, but to have 4 kids who's birthdays are in March, April, May and June, would be really cool...though, I admit, just to have him arrive healthy and intact, would be the best arrival of all.

This is me at 19 weeks..

we have not taken a recent photo, but will have one taken this weekend, so I will have more to update with.

Thanks for checking in. and waiting for the arrival of little Owen with me...

Week 17

2006-11-02T10:40:00.000-07:00

I am amazed at how much I have grown this time around. I feel much more pregnant than I am, and look it too. We will find out the gender on November 20th.
The family and the world at large will find out on Thanksgiving day.
Here is a photo taken during the middle of week 17.

Can I just say??? I love those pants, they don't fit around my tummy, but they sure are comfortable... I wear them around the house all the time.
I fell down the stairs a few weeks ago, the 22nd. Spent a day in the ER, had x-rays and found out all was okay. I have a bruised tailbone that is really painful, but every day I feel a little less sore. I am much more careful around the stairs now.
The baby is doing wonderfully, heartbeat is around 160-170 each time we hear it, nice and strong. and it moves around a lot..I feel it all the time now.
I am just trying to enjoy each and every minute until the baby comes.. What a wonderful time.
Until next time and news about what we are having...

My Dancing Machine

2006-10-15T15:52:00.000-06:00

Here is my son, Donovan.
Dancing..without a care as to who was watching. He thought I was taking pictures of him, but in fact I was recording video. He has amazing moves. All the more reason I love him. It is amazing that the whole video doesn't shake, since I was laughing so hard at how cute he is.

check it out( keep in mind I turned my camera halfway thru, so you will have to tilt your head to see it, my apologies, I don't have the proper editing software to fix this yet):

rambling....

2006-10-10T14:34:00.000-06:00

Hello, yeah it's been a while, not much, how 'bout you?

Old song from England Dan..and some other guy who's name escapes me, and today I am much to lazy to look it up.
I just got back from having lunch with my cousin Jennifer. I have not had much of a relationship with her in my life, but in the last three days, while she was here visiting, I talked with her more than I have in my whole life and I feel like I have made a new friend. It's such a good feeling.
I also want to address that despite all the issues I have going on in my life,(my grandma's health, my step daughter's refusal to respect me, feeling guilty about not working whilst my devoted husband works three jobs to make ends meet for us-even though it was really he who wanted me to quit in the first place so I could be happier, etc.)
Chris and I have become stronger in the past month than I ever thought imaginable.
We have this saying, together we are unstoppable..and we really are. If ever we fall away from each other for any length of time, we feel it both emotionally and physically. It sucks. But lately we have grown so close thru all this turmoil in our lives, it just shows me that I have the best man in the world. And that I am so lucky to be married to him.
The pregnancy is going well, I have no more morning sickness, I have my appetite back and I feel wonderful. I am so blessed in my life and I am truly very happy.
Chris' grandma has come home from her stay in the hospital and is doing much better, for that we give many thanks.
Please pray for my family though, my grandmothers injury has taken a toll on many of us in a ripple effect sort of way. She isn't healing well, and my Dad worries about her, and it is straining the relationship he has with his siblings..It hurts to see my grandmother ill, she has been my heroine for my whole life, aside from my mom and my sister, and the thought of losing her is unimaginable.
I want her to get better, but if that's not in God's plan, then I don't want her to suffer. Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers and thank you.

Until the next time....

POP goes the baby!!

2006-09-26T20:16:00.000-06:00

This is me at 12 weeks and 5 days, for a while I thought I was already showing, but after last weekend, I know now that I am, my bump just popped out..So now that I am growing, I will post pictures periodically, just for those who want to see the growth and change.

Here he/she is, Our Baby!!!

2006-09-07T09:36:00.000-06:00

I am a bit further along than we thought, only by about 5 days.
Everything looks fine, and it was TRUELY AMAZING to see the baby, it's heartbeat and to top it all off, it WAVED it's little ARM at us!!!, Like it KNEW we were watching... Mind blowing.. and to see the joy in Chris's eyes, it was perfect.

So I am now due April 4th, 2007, and you all are welcome to make guesses in the baby pool. We will find out the gender in November, but won't really know for sure till it is born, guess away, we love to see what you think our baby will be...
www.expectnet.com, (game name hellobabymallow).
The picture there, is the baby, upside down, the white spot in the middle is its heart, and the bigger part on bottom is its head, the shadow in the middle is arms, and if you have a really good imagination, you can see all of that, if not, that's ok, in just a few months, you will see the real thing in person!!

Update

2006-09-01T10:29:00.000-06:00

Well, I am well into week 8 now, morning sickness is still in full swing, as is my unending fatigue..the good news is I don't have to pee 100 times a day anymore, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am filling out in places I never dreamed of and in some ways, its great, just ask Chris!! In other ways, it's hard, I don't fit into maternity clothes yet, but none of my regular clothes fit at all.. Hello stretch pants.
We have our first official Dr visit next week, the first chance to see the fish in all it's glory, heartbeat and all, I am so excited to finally see the culprit of all my ailments over the last 30 or so days.

Shortly after I posted last, Donovan's first tooth came out, with a little tugging help from mom, here is a picture from it right after it came out.

In addition to working full time, Chris has been terribly busy filling it at the school, so he is gone a lot more than he or I would like, but since the term is over in October, so we are just waiting for that.

The special advocate who was appointed by Chris's ex wife's attorney filed her report a long time ago and her recommendation to have the kids spend 50% of the time with Chris and 50% of the time with their mom went into effect in late August, but as we suspected, there is more argument regarding the best interest of his kids, so we may be going back to the courts to work it all out. If you saw the dramatic improvements in both kids over the last year, it would amaze you, and we both agree that 50% time at our house is just what they need.
Pray for Katie and Connor that this trend continues.

I am officially finished with work September 15, to give my best efforts at being a full time stay at home mom, I feel I am more than qualified.
I can't wait, to be honest. I feel like I missed out on so much of my son's first real year of school since I was working full time, I want to make some of that up.
Being home will give me time to get the house ready for the baby as well, and the time I need to rest and make sure I stay healthy during the next 7 months.

Until the next time....

Orange hair and a tooth oddity

2006-08-18T12:15:00.000-06:00

Donovan, my boisterous son, had the opportunity to have his hair colored the other day, he chose ORANGE, ugh, I guess it could have been black right? And it washed out, whew!!!
Anyway, I drilled into his head as much as I could that this was the ONLY TIME I WILL EVER ALLOW HIS HAIR TO BE ANOTHER COLOR.. I think, at least, I hope he got it.

In other news, he is about to lose his first tooth, but the thing is he hasn't even lost it yet and the next tooth is already coming in...See??

Isn't that odd?
I have never in all my life seen anything like it, maybe it's more common than I know, but, Man!!! the first one is still hanging on.

Will he have TWO TEETH in the same hole??
I doubt it, but when it finally comes out, I will have to act fast to get the image on film since the next one is moving in already.

Until the next time

The beginnings of Life

2006-08-16T11:16:00.001-06:00

Here I am, 6 weeks a long and last week the morning sickness kicked in. It's not bad, I can handle it, I can even still eat while I feel nauseated, cool huh?
I have heard that having morning sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy, so this is a good thing.
The other symptoms I have are primarily the fatigue I feel all hours of the day, from when I wake up till when I go to bed, which these days has been no later than 9, I can't even keep my eyes open longer than that.
I have been very good at eating more healthy food, and as a result of the increased fiber in my diet, I am regular as clockwork now, would you care to set your wrist watch to me? HAHAHAHAHA, I'm only kidding.
We go to the Dr officially on Sept 6..if I get an Ultrasound, I will find a way to post the image here, for all to see!! If not, you can all wait like we will have to do.
I would have to say, I feel great, I love the fact that a life is growing inside of me. What makes it even better is how cool the people who made it are, they really love each other, this kid is gonna move mountains!!
Chris has been subbing over at the school he used to teach at last year and while the extra cash will be nice, I sure do miss having him around at night, that's when we do our talking, and our time together is much needed. Soon, I say, I will have my man back, and by the time I do , I won't be soooo tired all the time.
until the next time...

Baby, Oh Baby!!!

2006-08-03T20:20:00.002-06:00

Yes, you guessed it!!
We are having a baby...sometime in early April; he/she will be here.
We started trying right away.. and BOOM, Chris got one past the goalie...WOOHOO!!!!
HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!!!!
We have already told our families, and most of our friends, but now...
WE ANNOUNCE IT TO THE WORLD!!!!!

You see that ticker on top of my post?....that will keep track of the days gone and days to go.
As an added bit of fun, we are having a baby pool, as well.
Feel free to go make your best guess as to the sex, weight, time, and date of the baby..it will be fun to see what everyone thinks it will be.
Check it out :game name 'hellobabymallow'
We plan on finding out what it is. All the kids concur, they would like a sister, but we are all sure to be happy with whatever the baby is.

Most of all , we are all just happy that a baby is on it's way to join our family, and we pray for a healthy pregnancy and delivery....isn't that what's the most important?

I will be back as soon as I can...

We are finally Married!!!

2006-06-18T14:02:00.000-06:00

It's almost here

2006-05-31T10:18:00.000-06:00

Days from now,
just over 2 weeks,
I will be married again.

This time it's different,
This time it is better,
This time I have had months to plan,
This time I have had someone who actually wants this as much as I do to plan it with,

My stress has finally turned into excitement.
It's all coming together so nicely.
Everything is falling right into place.
I can't sleep now, because I am excited.
I am twitterpated with joy over marrying the greatest guy ever.
I am so lucky to have him.

We can look at each other and not speak, because we already know what we would say.
There is a connection there that I have never felt in my whole life and I am blessed indeed to be spending my life with him.

Even our fights, which are not really fights, are more like short bursts of energy, that don't last long enough to make a mark. We often forget what caused them in the first place, only minutes after they happen.

They say the wedding doesn't make the marriage, the 'marriage' does..and I agree.. This wedding we are having; it's merely a presentation of what we already have.
A way for us to show our family that we have found that one person who balances out the rest of our life.
Who makes us feels whole and complete. That's not to say I felt like half a person before I met him, but he sure made who I was better with his presence in my life.
Sharing my life with him feels as natural as breathing.

I will be back afterward with photos, to show all of you the most wonderful day of my life, next to meeting him and giving birth to my son..I don't have a top 5 yet, but I do have 3, and my wedding day is at the top right now.

Until then.....

Charlie Pride

2006-04-20T15:57:00.000-06:00

My parents listened to quite a little bit of classic country music when my sister and I were kids. Hank Williams Sr., Gene Autry, Jim Reeves, Kitty Wells, that sort of style. They listened to rock classics too, but this is about country.

It was funny, I would pride myself on being able to guess who was singing.

I got close many times. But one time, by default, I guessed Charlie Pride first, and I nailed it.. so from that point on, if I didn't get the "male' singer right away, my subsequent guesses would always be Charlie Pride.
To this day, my parents still tease me about it "Hey Heidi, whos this??"
"Charlie Pride!!" hahahahaha

So a few weeks ago, Chris, my sister Dari, my mother, and my son Donovan drove to Texas for a wedding of one of my cousins. While we were driving, we came across a radio station playing classic country. Of course, the story about Charlie Pride came up and so I decided to see how good my son knew classic country. I asked Donovan who was singing.. not to be outdone by my guessing Charlie Pride over and over and over again.. he blurts out "John Hank!!"
...............uh.....uh......
John Hank?? WHO????

We all burst out laughing, since we had never heard of any such person EVER!!
This of course, made him gleeful.(he is so creative)

So now everytime we are in the car, and playing any type of guessing game about who sings it, Donovan always says "John Hank"

I just want to know, does anyone know who John Hank really is?

If you do, let me know, I would love to hear him sing...

2,190 days, also known as 6 years

2006-03-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

Happy 6th Birthday Donovan!!

I hope "Donovation" was a week you will never forget.
Love, Mommy

Happy St. Patricks Day

2006-03-17T16:04:00.000-07:00

I have been doing some reading about the history of todays holiday. Rather that trying to re word it here, I thought I would allow you to go see it for yourself if you like-- you can do so here.

Every year, on this day, I eat mass quantities of corned beef and cabbage, as I watch The Quiet Man and drink Killians.

This is a tradition I have had since about 1993.( thanks mom for sharing this tradition with me) Chris is amazed by it, he was just saying last night, he has never met anyone who religiously eats this food only one time a year..hahaha. He does now!!!

I have other traditions too, but I will go on about those later.The funny thing about them , is that they all involve movies...hmmmm.

I hope you all have some time to celebrate, if you so desire, and if not, then so be it.

Please be safe and have a good weekend.

And in the tradition of the Irish and the day to celebrate St Patrick himself, here is a joke to lighten your mood, enjoy:

Mick staggered home in the wee small hours after a heavy night out with his mates. When he woke up the next morning, he found he was in bed with the dog beside him in his wife's place.

"Glory be!" said Mick. " I must have been really drunk when I got home. I thought there was a lot of noise when I threw the dog out!"

Money, Money, Money

2006-03-01T09:55:00.000-07:00

Today, I realize, that I have little control over my money no matter the amount, when it's in a financial insitution.

What with fees and charges and interest and whatever else the bank feels like adding or subtracting from MY MONEY.

What gives them the right?

I give them MY MONEY, MY MONEY, and they treat it like its theirs.

Here is what happened:

I opened an account with my bank over a year ago, as I was unhappy with my previous bank for other reasons. Anyway, from day one, I have been happy with my bank over all.

They dont charge outrageous fees if I happen to mess up and bounce a check, and they are very understanding when I have to file a dispute about a fradulent charge.

But for the last 6 months, they have been charging me a fee for not using bill pay.

Most banks offer free bill pay, but my bank, even though its free, charges you if you don't use it.
I write checks to pay bills, or use a direct payment method.

I have had bad experiences with bill pay in the past, at my expense and I was not interested in it happening again, so I wasn't using it.

I really had no desire to, until they started charging me for not using it.
So to keep things fair, I used it last month, to make two payments, to avoid the fee being taken from MY MONEY again, and what do they do??

They charge me AGAIN???

So I call them up and politely ask why?

"OH, You have to make 3 or more payments to avoid the fee"

sigh...I hate the bank.
NOT just my bank, or this bank, or that bank, just THE bank.

I wish I could just live on cash, and never have to give my hard earned dollars to a bank ever again.

I admit that I have have control issues, and this tries my paitence in ways I never imagined.

So without much ado, I will once again leave this bank and say adios, I have had it with the abuse of MY MONEY.

Good bye 1st bank of Colorado, you suck and I think everyone should know about it!!

I am joining up with Chris's bank this weekend, he has much more pleasant things to say about his bank, so lets give them a try shall we?

...and if that doesn't work then I will resort the the old coffee can in the cupboard trick....and just forget the banks where your money is supposed to be safe.

Safe.. right, hahahahahaha, banks don't know what safe is..they need to nickle and dime us to poverty to make themselves worthy.

Thanks for checking in

I miss my son.

2006-02-17T10:21:00.000-07:00

My son Donovan, who was born almost exactly 6 years ago, has, up until September of last year, spent most of the waking hours of his life with me.

There was, of course, time with his father, my parents, and preschool. But for the most part he came to work with me, and lived with me after I divorced. Although I never took my time with him for granted, I really never considered how much I would miss having him around.

It literally hurts me physically to not be there when he wakes up, and to only have about 2 hours 5 days a week with him.

Due to my new job's work hours, I can't be there when he gets up anymore. And I don't get home until around 6, so Chris takes him to daycare and picks him up for me.

Today, as Chris was taking him to daycare, the song "Walk like an Egyptian" came on the radio.

Donovan informed Chris that he 'loved this song' . Chris told him it was one of Katie's( Chris's daughter) favorite songs too, to which Donovan replied, "I love 'Walk like a Magician' ".

Now, can't you see why I would miss him so much?!?!?

I do feel lucky and love that I have Chris to share these experiences with me.. that means so much to me, but Donovan is a real riot sometimes and I sure do miss his stories and Donovanisms, not as much as I miss him though.

until the next time......

( note, this is not exploitation of my child, just a cute little story about something he said)

Random Thoughts on Blogging

2006-02-07T11:29:00.000-07:00

Good day to you all, I have no earthly idea who reads this blog anymore. I have really neglected it as of late. I am sorry for that. Life can sometimes get in the way of writing down my daily thoughts or stories from my life. I am sure most of you can relate... I mean blogging is tough work. It's much like being a novelist everyday. I, for one will admit freely that that is soooooo not me.

I have been reading a particular blog for about a year now. I won't tell you the real name of it,(as I do not want to drive more traffic her way) but it rhymes with "Loose", which is what she is, in my humble opinion.
At first, I loved it. the writer made me smile, she even made me laugh. But I am starting to lose respect for her. She writes about daily events in her life, that I would never feel comfortable telling the world. She of course gets much more traffic to her blog than I ever will, or I would ever want. I don't want the world to read my life. I really started mine as a way of keeping a sort of public journal for family and friends.
I know my parents read it, and so do others I don't want knowing about intimate parts of my life. Those are private things, I won't share them about me, or my family, or Chris.

She has now begun to advertise for several companies on her blog, for which I am sure she gets paid handsomly, but heck, I don't know why she does it.
She talks like she doesn't care who she tells about her love life, her bowel habits, and most of all, he daughter. I feel so sorry for that child as she grows up, she is worse off that any celebrity child. She will resent her parents as soon as she understands that a large portion of the population knows she was hung out for the world to examine.

The poor child, my pity goes out to her now, before the awareness sets in.

I blog to let people know whats going on, I forget sometimes that I even have a blog and its not a big deal.. Chris blogs to voice his opinion.. maybe a lot of people don't agree with him, but.. they don't mind. Maybe I should not mind that this woman does what she does.. I just don't agree with selling out to tell the world you can't go to the bathroom regularly, or that your child has developmental delays.

All I have to say about that, is that maybe if she spent less time blogging and more time mothering, her kid would have been fine....

OK, I have cleared my head of these thoughts. Sort of, I do know that I won't be reading her blog much anymore. If I do read it, it will only allow me to confirm that she continues to flaggrantly air her "dirty laundry" life out to the public.
I don't agree with her exploitation of her child. and you all know me, I am a professional child care provider, that last thing any kid needs is for everyone to know the intimate details of every day of their lives...let them be kids... tell the good stuff, don't advertise the bad.

One last thought:
I hope that she doesn't have any more kids, I never read her account of pregnancy, and I am not interesed now.

Thanks for checking in...